IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Coins and paper money will soon be replaced by credit and bank cards. Eventually we will have a cashless society which will be safer and more convenient for everyone. Do you agree or disagree

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In
this
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 present world, Most
people
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 don'
t
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use
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 cash for transact and will have plans to replace it with e-cards. We
use
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 e-cards which will be more secure and beneficial for everybody. I strongly believe that it would be useful when
people
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use
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 it.
However
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, it will impact folks by using its out-of-control.
Firstly
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, human beings utilize e-cards to buy something
such
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 as stuff, and books immediately.
Although
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 the outlets are from around the world, it doesn'
t
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 matter the long distances and concern about how can they pay for
this
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.
Moreover
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, they don'
t
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 need to exchange their currency with other countries.
Besides
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 that, we don'
t
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 need to care much about how they can transit
money
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due to
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 the banks helping us to guarantee it . Because It's exchanged by the banking.
For instance
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, they ought to buy some books from France and don'
t
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 need to bring cash to pay for them. And they just
use
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 some platforms regarding the banking industry and manipulate processes simply to complete paid.
Secondly
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, there's the other hand.
People
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use
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 it out of their control leading to bad debts. They can'
t
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 afford to pay interest.
In addition
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 , they can'
t
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 enter the system to transit
money
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as a result
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 of forgetting their password and even they steal
money
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 from it.
For example
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, we have many cases like these in Vietnam,
people
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 waste tons of
money
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 to buy something they don'
t
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 really want in the retail market and lost
money
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 from the unauthority access system of the bank.
Therefore
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, these points are potential risks in the future.
To sum up
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,
people
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use
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 internet banking to transact. It's useful and convenient.
However
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, it has ability high risk in payment methods. I would to like recommend we can apply artificial intelligence to identify risk.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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