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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the percentage of workers from five different European countries that were absent for a day or more due to illness from 1991 to 2001. Summarise the information by selecting reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentage of workers from five different European countries that were absent for a day or more due to illness from 1991 to 2001. Summarise the information by selecting reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph provides data about the proportion of people from the Netherlands, France,
Sweden
Use synonyms
, the UK, and Germany who took at least one sick day between 1992 and 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that, during the analyzed time frame, only
Sweden
Use synonyms
, and France's percentages of illness absences changed,
whereas
Linking Words
 the other three countries remained quite unchanged. About those whose percentages changed, France experienced the greatest variation, being at 5% in the
first
Use synonyms
 two
years
Use synonyms
, and
then
Linking Words
 going constantly down until it
leveled
Change the spelling
levelled
show examples
 off in 1997 and continued like that for the next 4
years
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Sweden
Use synonyms
's fraction of workers who
Add a missing verb
were absenced
show examples
absenced
Correct your spelling
absence
absences
 rose
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
by almost 2% from 1995 to 2001, as in the
first
Use synonyms
 4
years
Use synonyms
 it stayed quite stable.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the UK and Germany remained approximately stable with just some slight fluctuations. The former started at around 2.5% and ended at roughly the same number and the latter at 1.5% ending still there.t variation, being at 5% in the
first
Use synonyms
 two
years
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
then
Linking Words
 going constantly down until it
leveled
Change the spelling
levelled
show examples
 off in 1997 and continued like that for the next 4
years
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Sweden
Use synonyms
's fraction of workers who
Add a missing verb
were absenced
show examples
absenced
Correct your spelling
absence
absences
 rose
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
by almost 2% from 1995 to 2001, as in the
first
Use synonyms
 4
years
Use synonyms
 it stayed quite stable.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sweden, first, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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