IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The illustrations show two stages in the development of the mobile phone. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams depict the
features
Use synonyms
 of the early mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 and its contemporarily developed counterpart.
Overall
Linking Words
, phones were heavier and wider in the early eras than those developed much later.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the newer
phone
Use synonyms
 has
features
Use synonyms
in addition
Linking Words
 to those contained in its preceding model. Both models have certain commonalities and contrasting elements in their designs. Some of the shared
features
Use synonyms
 of the two devices include a keyboard containing a number pad, a function select button
that is
Linking Words
 situated centrally right below the
phone
Use synonyms
 screen, and the earphone which is located in the middle of the top-most horizontal section of the
phone
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 the newer version of the mobile has retained all of the aforementioned
features
Use synonyms
 of the older type, there are visible differences too. Appearance-wise, the early mobile phones resemble a walkie-talkie
in contrast
Linking Words
 to their successive counterparts which are made flippable.
While
Linking Words
 the early designs had only black and white displays, the contemporary ones feature coloured displays on their screens. The new models are
also
Linking Words
 much more advanced, containing a camera with video capability
whereas
Linking Words
 the previous models lacked
this
Linking Words
 feature.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the functions offered by the device have witnessed the greatest progress as the function button is surrounded by more operational keys that offer facilities for e-mailing, playing music and multiplayer gaming.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: