IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Because of the global economy, many goods including what we use as daily basics produced by olher countres have to be transported for a long distance. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#economy #goods #basics #olher #countres #distance
Globalisation has enabled
countries
 around the
world
 to trade with each other irrespective of the
distance
 between them. Some people state that even most of the
goods
 like basic commodities are usually transported from far away. I completely agree with their claim as it is factually recorded that the volume has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased in recent times.
This
 essay will discuss the reasons why
this
 phenomenon is factually correct and will provide an explanation in detail. Our planet inhabits diversity in cultures, languages, races and faiths around the
world
.
Likewise
, the topography across various regions of the
world
 has distinct features. Some of the basic amenities like spices can only be cultivated in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
regions which
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 specific weather conditions and distinct soil ingredients. Because of
this
, most
countries
 end up trading
goods
 from different parts of the
world
. Take pepper as an instance, it cannot be grown in Europe as it requires
low altitude
Add a hyphen
low-altitude
show examples
 land and warm weather conditions.
Therefore
, the topographical diversity causes
countries
 to trade with those who are physically at a far
distance
 from them.
Furthermore
, it is often observed that
vast
Correct article usage
the vast
show examples
 majority of
countries
 have hostile relations with their neighbouring
countries
due to
 cultural rivalries or territorial disputes.
Due to
this
, they often restrict trading among themselves to prevent each other from progressing economically.
As a result
, they are forced to trade with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries
 which are at a far
distance
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 them. A good illustration of
this
 is the fact that China purchases dry fruits from Brazil rather than India because of their unfriendly relations with their neighbour.
Consequently
,
countries
 are prompted to buy
goods
 from those states with whom they have allied
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
and
also
 with those who are far away from them.
To conclude
,
this
 essay comprehensively illustrated why the phenomenon of
long
Add a hyphen
long-distance
show examples
distance
 trading across
countries
 for even
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
basic
goods
 has become prevalent
due to
 globalisation. Diversity in
earth's
Correct article usage
the earth's
show examples
 habitat
as well as
 the commonly observed hostile relations with neighbouring nations are major reasons leading to
this
 development.
Submitted by Mohammed Danishuddin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global economy
  • International trade
  • Economies of scale
  • Carbon emissions
  • Supply chain disruptions
  • Geopolitical tensions
  • Quality control
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Consumer choice
  • Employment opportunities
  • Cost savings
  • Local production
  • Imported goods
  • Carbon footprint
  • Economic growth
  • Global market
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!