Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country's police force or military force, such as the army, while others think milit women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #women #role #men #country #police #force #army #milit #kinds #jobs

Some

people

believe that

women

should play an equal role as

men

in a country's police

force

or military

force

such

as the army,

while

some

people

argued

Wrong verb form

argue

show examples

that they think

women

are not suitable for these kinds of jobs . on the one hand ,there are some benefits of

women

should play

Wrong verb form

playing

show examples

an equal role as

men

in a country's police

force

or military

force

firstly

women

have better analysing

skills

and problem-solving

skills

for example

, if

people

argue in the military group ,

women

know how to deal with these situations,and they can communicate with each other better than

men

Furthermore

women

are capable of performing the same duties as

men

,and gender should not be a factor when it comes to employment.

on the other hand

, others think

women

are not suitable for these kinds of jobs, because they think

women

lack power when they face some dangerous missions , and

women

are easier to injure than

men

For instance

, when they take a mission and

happened

Verb problem

have

show examples

an accident,

women

can not give them help.

however

,in my opinion,

women

should have equal opportunities in the police and military forces.and gender can not as a standard to limit

people

moreover

, I think the best way is for

women

and

men

to cooperate with each other ,and the

men

need to develop their physical fitness,

while

the

women

to need promote their communication

skills

and problem-solving

skills

then

in the army , which can improve the relevant development. in conclusion, I think

women

and

men

have the same opportunities when they

employ

Wrong verb form

are employed

show examples

and work together can increase efficiency.

Submitted by 992127079 on Tue Apr 04 2023

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas systematically. Ensure that your introduction presents the main topic and your conclusion summarises your main points effectively.

task achievement

Ensure that you fully address all aspects of the essay question in a clear and comprehensive manner. Provide relevant specific examples to support your ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country's police force or military force, such as the army, while others think milit women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs Discuss both views and give your opinion

Your opinion

Giving pocket money to children is very common in many countries. Discuss both advantages and disadvantages and what your opinion is.

Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on protection of wild animals, and that money could be better spent on human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?

Many people believe that good planning is the key factor to success in life, while others believe that other factors like hard work or luck are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The increasing availability of low-cost airlines now lets people travel around the world. Some feel this is a positive development while others think it is negative overall. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large company can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?