IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that the teenagers should concentrate on all subjects at schools. Others believe that teenagers should focus only on the subjects that they are best at or they are most interested in. To what extent do you agree?

#people #teenagers #subjects #schools #focus
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There is no denying that education plays a pivotal role in the shaping future of adolescents. Some
people
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 argue that it is necessary to learn all academic
discipline
Fix the agreement mistake
disciplines
show examples
,
while
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 others believe that it is more important to prioritize the educational fields they are most skilled
at
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apply
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. In
this
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essay
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,essay
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will explore both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
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 of view and give my own opinion. First and foremost, it is crucial to study well and have good marks
due to
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they
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 impact to forward success in life. It is well known that tryhard in every subject at
school
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develope
Correct your spelling
develops
 the child's cognitive skills and
build
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builds
show examples
power
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the power
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 of will.
For
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instance
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,instance
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 students which do well
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in acadmic
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acadmic
Correct your spelling
academic
 performance at
school
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 , are more likely
succeed
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to succeed
show examples
 and have fulfilment life in adulthood. It is believed, that
people
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's income
depend
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depends
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 on their level of education. Children who have good marks have more
opportuinities
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opportunities
 to
enroll
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enrol
show examples
 in decent
univerities
Correct your spelling
universities
.
On the other hand
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, there are many
people
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argue
Correct pronoun usage
who argue
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 that pupils should pay undivided attention
on
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to
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subjects
Correct article usage
the subjects
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 they are
most
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apply
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strongest in.
For
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example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 these
people
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 strongly believe that if
child
Add an article
the child
a child
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 decides to become
Correct article usage
a proffessional
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proffessional
Correct your spelling
professional
 footballer he doesn't need to waste the time on
other subject
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another subject
other subjects
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such
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 as math and biology. I strongly
dissagree
Correct your spelling
disagree
 with
this
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 opinion, because the subject at
school
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help
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helps
show examples
 children to explore more
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 about the world, broaden their minds, children become educated and improve their creativity
thankful
Replace the word
thanks
show examples
 to learning other subjects at
school
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. In conclusion, undoubtedly the subjects at
school
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 are essential in the building of
scion's
Correct article usage
the scion's
show examples
 characters, in a
meantime
Add a comma
,meantime
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 it is
also
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 crucial to focus on areas they are most skilled at.
Therefore
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 it is
improtant
Correct your spelling
important
 to
try
Add the particle
totry
show examples
 strike a balance and try to value every academic field.
Submitted by dias-orazbaev on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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