Some people think that schools should prioritize teaching students’ practical skills for the workplace, while others believe that schools should focus on academic subjects such as science and math. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It is believed by some individuals that schools ought to put instructing useful proficiencies to pupils as the first priority.

However

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, others consider that these institutions should concentrate on academic topics, like science and math. I am in complete agreement with the former group of people. I will explain both statements

as well as

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elaborate on my point of view below. It seems that the necessary skills for the workplace,

such

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as teamwork, tolerance of emergency working conditions and business administration assist students in knowing themselves and their abilities.

Thus

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, they can not only find a suitable job logically but

also

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will be successful in their career.

For example

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, some schools held “The Significant Skills for The Computer” during two educational years in Iran. Most of the students who participated could learn the computer’s essential skills.

Hence

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, they could be hired for better office jobs.

On the other hand

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, understanding a wide range of science courses, like physics and mathematics brings about a vast knowledge which helps learners to receive acceptance from high-rank universities easier so as to continue their education.

As a result

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, they will be capable

to be

Change preposition

of being

show examples

recruited for fulfilling

as well as

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lucrative jobs. In conclusion, learning practical accomplishments

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

learners to work in a proper job, but knowing some academic matters lend a hand to them to be accepted into universities. I think a great number of teenagers would like to have a business, be prosperous and earn money in a short deal of time

instead

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of studying for long years and

then

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starting a career.

Hence

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, it would be better that schools make time in their curriculum for the above-mentioned proficiencies

s.qanbarzadeh2020Tue Apr 04 2023

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coherence cohesion

In the introduction, briefly mention the arguments for both sides before presenting your own opinion.

coherence cohesion

Try to include more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and ideas.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea with supporting sentences in a logical progression.

task achievement

The essay addresses both sides of the argument and presents a clear opinion.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the writer's viewpoint while relating back to the topic.

task achievement

Relevant examples are used to support the main points.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

practical skills
academic subjects
workplace readiness
employability
real-world application
fundamental knowledge
critical thinking
problem-solving
analytical skills
versatile
adaptable
specialized tracks
career aspirations
curriculum
balanced education

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In some countries, university students study near their home and live with their family, while in others students have to study in another city. Do the advantages of living away from home outweigh the disadvantages?