Some countries have legal ages at which people can drink. Other countries believe not have strict laws is a better policy. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#countries #ages #people #drink #laws #policy

this

globalization era consuming liquor

escalating

Wrong verb form

escalates

show examples

at an alarming rate.

Due to

this

, it has been controversial, in some

nations

Change noun form

nation's

nations'

show examples

legal age of drinking but others thought not imposed laws on it. I will discuss both sides of a coin

as well as

elucidate my opinion. On the one hand,there are

plethora

Add an article

a plethora

show examples

of reasons

apply

Fix the infinitive

to apply

show examples

strict laws for drinking

alcohol

.First and foremost

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

adolescents lose

thie

Correct your spelling

their

mental health when

assume

Change the verb form

assuming

show examples

drink

then

they easily commit

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

as well as

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

of road accidents almost done by teenagers when they are driving with

assumption

Correct article usage

the assumption

show examples

alcohol

Change preposition

of alcohol

show examples

Besides

this

alcohol

is detrimental

for

Change preposition

show examples

youngster's

Fix the agreement mistake

youngsters'

show examples

health in future it is the main root of cause liver failure, kidney problems and other serious illnesses .

Additionally

,teenagers distract from their future aim in life

due to

this

country's development will be affected because today's generation is the future of tomorrow.

On the other hand

, fractions of society believe liquor is the medicine

Change preposition

for

show examples

stress and anxiety. In

this

developing

era

Add a comma

,era

show examples

everyone suffers

with

Change preposition

from

show examples

depression

as well as

loneliness

then

alcohol

work as medicine.

For example

, In brazil government does not impose any

rule

Fix the agreement mistake

rules

show examples

on drinking they drink as medicine.

Moreover

, sometimes juveniles insist law of

nation

Correct article usage

the nation

show examples

they take

alcohol

which affects parents and society. In my perspective,imposing

law

Correct article usage

a law

show examples

for drinking good notion

while

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

parents should teach

thie

Correct your spelling

their

children about

drawbacks

Correct article usage

the drawbacks

show examples

of drinking. Government allow less amount alcoholic drinks to minors with

this

they cannot lose their mind

Change preposition

apply

show examples

thinking. In the epilogue,it is discerned that both views have

thier

Correct your spelling

their

own importance

however

strong drinks which harmful

for

Change preposition

show examples

health should not allow

Change preposition

show examples

minors .

Submitted by amandeepmanngat93 on Tue Apr 04 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

267 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

Legal drinking age
Underage drinking
Health repercussions
Addiction
Drunk-driving
Responsible drinking
Forbidden fruit
Social rituals
Public health
Safety framework
Risks of alcohol
Cultural differences

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matter(such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their wishes. other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
This essay will discuss whether accepting kids to make thier own decition or not . My personal opinion is that children should learn become responsible for thier actions and follow hier goal . However it is also crucial to think about reult and changes of themselves . The following paragraph will present importance of choices and matters.
7.5
band
Schools should use films, computers and games instead of books. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The methods which schools may implement for teaching pupils are of great debate. Although some assume that utilizing films, computers and games benefits students more in comparison with book-based education, I wholeheartedly subscribe to the fact that due to the following repercussions, the latter is more efficient and beneficial.
7.5
band
Some people suggest that young adults should be encouraged to do some unpaid work for a period of time for the community to help people. Does it bring more benefits or drawbacks to the community and the young people?
A period of unpaid work for young adults, aimed at contributing to their community, has sparked a great deal of debate. While some argue that this endeavour is invaluable in terms of both individual development and community progress, others contend that it may result in several drawbacks. In my view, the benefits to the community and youngsters far outweigh the defects.
7.5
band
Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their life easier?
Many individuals, nowadays, are spending most of their time completing work tasks which are leading to anxiety and other mental health issues. Thus this essay will elaborate on numerous reasons causing negative effects on an individual's personal life as well as the responsibilities that should be undertaken by the management team to support their employees.
6.5
band
Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause this stress, and how can we reduce it?
We live in an age where many of us are stressed and undoubtedly it represents a significant issue on a global scale. I wholeheartedly believe that there are numerous factors contributing to the spread of this problem, such as hectic work schedules and a competitive professional arena. Hence, solutions such as recreational activities and sports might mitigate this concerning issue.

Some countries have legal ages at which people can drink. Other countries believe not have strict laws is a better policy. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Schools should use films, computers and games instead of books. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people suggest that young adults should be encouraged to do some unpaid work for a period of time for the community to help people. Does it bring more benefits or drawbacks to the community and the young people?

Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their life easier?

Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause this stress, and how can we reduce it?