The pie charts compare the six categories of reasons for immigrants to and from Europe in 2009.

The pie charts compare the six categories of reasons for immigrants to and from Europe in 2009.
The pie charts compare the six categories of reasons for
immigrants
to and from Europe in 2009. It is noticeable that the top reason why
people
came
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
to and from
European
countries is to study. Many
people
immigrated to a
European
country to get a
job
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and leave a
European
country because of their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
. In 2009, 23% of
immigrants
went to Europe to study, with 32% of
people
left for the same reason as well. In the first pie,
it is clear that
people
who looked for a
job
took
one quarter
Add a hyphen
one-quarter
show examples
of the
immigrants
,
while
those who had a definite
job
simply took 10%. Meanwhile, only
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
of
immigrants
left because of work, 15% looking for a
job
and with
definite
Correct article usage
a definite
show examples
job
respectively. Less
people
immigrated for
acoompany
Correct your spelling
company
/family reasons, only 15%, but
one fourth
Add a hyphen
one-fourth
show examples
left for that.
It is clear that
7%, 8% of
immigrants
came in and out with no reason,
whereas
10%, 15% of
people
immigrated to and from a
European
country for some other reasons.
Submitted by aqualchu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "it is clear that".
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words immigrants, people, european, job with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "compare" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: