Tourism is an ever growing industry. What benefits do you think tourism brings to individual and society?

#tourism #industry #society

It is claimed that

tourism

is becoming one of the developing

service

Change to a plural noun

services

show examples

while

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

this

industry brings a lot of merits in many sectors.

This

essay will discuss the pros of

tourism

to personal and civilization.

To begin

, we must admit that the tourist industry

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

some great advantage

Change preposition

for

show examples

individual

Add an article

the individual

show examples

.The reason is that citizens are tending to travel to feel personal solace after hours of study and hard work.

Therefore

tourism

has solved the entertainment needs of people.

In addition

, travelling brings people in the family closer together and

also

becomes a method to educate children.

For example

, my parents are busy with work so they always take advantage of taking the family to travel both to bring everyone together and to broaden our horizons of the outside world.

In addition

, tourist

service

also

takes great benefits to society.

First,

investment

cost

Fix the agreement mistake

costs

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for

tourism

are quite low , but the income is the highest in all economic sectors . In fact , landscape

service

helped promote the resort to all parts of the world.

For example

, Cao Bang mountainous province in Vietnam became a famous tourist destination with

wonderfull

Correct your spelling

wonderful

waterfall

Fix the agreement mistake

waterfalls

show examples

and suitable

price

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prices

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, so it has created

Add an article

the

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

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for ethnic minority families,

helped

Correct word choice

and helped

show examples

to consume local products . In conclusion,

tourism

take

Change the verb form

takes

show examples

a lot of advantages from big to small for each individual

in particular

and the whole society in general. In my view, the

tourism

service

industry will become a major turning point in the economic development of regions , especially places with many beautiful natural resources.

Submitted by anhnguhongmai on Thu Apr 06 2023

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Tourism is an ever growing industry. What benefits do you think tourism brings to individual and society?

Your opinion

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you thnk the advantages outweigh the disavantages?

Some people believe raising the price of fuel is the greatest way to address global environmental issues. Do you agree or disagree?

. In modern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

The differences between countries are becoming less and less evident. People all over the world wear the same fashions, watch the same t.v. channels, use the same brands and have similar eating habits. Do you think that the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

the effects of corrective feedback on iranian intermedate EFL learners listening strategy use