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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or Antarctica. What are the benefits or disadvantages for people who visit such places.

#tourists #places #conditions #sahara #desert #antarctica #people #visit
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In recent years, a number of tourists are visiting
places
 where environments are difficult and
terrify
Change the form of the verb
terrifying
show examples
.
For instance
, the Sahara desert or Antarctica. In my point of view, it has pros and cons for
people
 who travel
such
Change preposition
to such
show examples
places
.
To begin
 with, nowadays it is becoming
increasingly
Add an article
an increasingly
show examples
 common habit among
people
 to
visiting
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
desert
Fix the agreement mistake
deserts
show examples
 or cold weather
places
. Well, when it comes to its advantages, first and foremost, it can help them to broaden their horizon.
Furthermore
, it might entail
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their mental and physical health.
Moreover
, individuals might learn
their
Change preposition
about their
show examples
 conditions, traditions,
cultures
Correct word choice
and cultures
show examples
, and
also
 gain more information about them
due to
 seeing
such
places
.
This
 is because those dwellings are like travel to sightseeing abodes as well. What is more, it could help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their children to be
extrovert
Fix the agreement mistake
extroverts
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
also
 can live anywhere without any problems.
Therefore
, the preference of tourists
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 changed dramatically.
On the other hand
,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to these
places
 provides
people
 with great adventure and gives them a chance to see rare creatures or it might be
extremely
Add an article
an extremely
show examples
 bad situation for some individuals. When it comes to its drawbacks, there are few limitations on
such
 expenditure, basically,
people
 often need physical and mental preparations in order to visit these locations.
In addition
, there are lots of areas which put
people
's lives
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 danger as we never face
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them.
For instance
,
Sahara
Correct article usage
the Sahara
show examples
 desert is well-known for poisonous rattlesnakes, so we need to take proper precautions before visiting
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
these areas.
This
 is because we might
cannot
Remove a modal verb
not
show examples
 find a hospital to avoid that problem.
To conclude
, trips to isolated areas
such
 as deserts, interesting or dangerous or high mountain locations might be beneficial or bad. It is my perception that
people
 need to be cautious in any case.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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