The graph below shows the different home activities among young children in four different countries.

#home #activities #children #four #countries

The bar chart detail about different home activities among young

children

in four dissimilar countries. Looking from an

overall

perspective it is readily apparent that playing computer games was most popular among young

children

while

reading was the least option in all countries. It is observed that young

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

from

nigeria

Change the capitalization

Nigeria

show examples

are more engaged in digital games with 60%,

while

children

from

malaysia

Change the capitalization

Malaysia

show examples

and

sudan

Change the capitalization

Sudan

show examples

are

Change preposition

apply

show examples

even equal for playing computer games figure

represented

Wrong verb form

representing

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

50%

whereas

little

one

Fix the agreement mistake

ones

show examples

from

china

Correct your spelling

China

show examples

were slightly lower by 10% respectively .

Interstingly

Correct your spelling

Interestingly

it is noticed that youngsters from

malaysia

Change the capitalization

Malaysia

show examples

china

nigeria

Change the capitalization

Nigeria

show examples

amd

Correct your spelling

and

sudan

Change the capitalization

Sudan

show examples

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

narrowed the disparity for watching television accounted for 30%. Sneak a glance

Change preposition

show examples

the least chosen option by small

children

was reading , where

nigeria

Change the capitalization

Nigeria

show examples

and

sudan

Change the capitalization

Sudan

show examples

represented

equal

Correct article usage

an equal

show examples

ratio(10%)

while

china

Correct your spelling

China

show examples

was at 15% and

malaysia

Change the capitalization

Malaysia

show examples

indicate 5% higher than

malaysia

Change the capitalization

Malaysia

show examples

Furthermore

board

Add an article

the board

a board

show examples

game was popular

Correct your spelling

sudan

Change the capitalization

Sudan

show examples

Change preposition

at 30

show examples

while

malaysia

Change the capitalization

Malaysia

show examples

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

slightly decreased by 5% ,

whereas

young

children

from

china

Correct your spelling

China

show examples

amd

Correct your spelling

and

nigeria

Change the capitalization

Nigeria

show examples

were between 10-15% respectively.

Submitted by samruddhinibandhe0 on Sat Apr 08 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".

▼

Introduction: The introduction is missing.

▼

Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words children, nigeria, malaysia, sudan, china with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

173 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The graph below shows the different home activities among young children in four different countries.

In many parts of the world, people rely on private cars for transportation. In what ways does reliance on private cars affect the way we live? Do the effects tend to be positive or negative?

Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the solutions?

Air traffic is increasingly leading to more noise, pollution, and airport construction. Some people say that government should try to reduce air traffic by taxing it more heavily. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, using the internet in schools is getting more popular. In this a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well . To what extent do you agree or disagree?