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Writing Samples
Band 4

The graph shows the percentage of UK adolescents following a vegetarian diet. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The graph shows the percentage of UK adolescents following a vegetarian diet. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
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The graph demonstrates the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of UK adolescents following a vegetarian diet ranging from a period of 60
years
Use synonyms
 starting from 1960. The initial
percentage
Use synonyms
 was 0% corresponding with the year 1960. The
percentage
Use synonyms
 gradually and consistently
Use synonyms
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 as the
years
Use synonyms
 increases by 10 until it reach the highest
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 in 1980.
This
Linking Words
 means that within 20
years
Use synonyms
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 had
Use synonyms
increase
Change the verb form
increased
show examples
 from 0% to 15%. In the year 1980, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of adolescents following a vegetable diet reaches 15%. After that, there is a gradual decrease in
percentage
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 from 1980 to 1990 starting from 15% and down to an
estimate
Replace the word
estimated
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
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5% to 6%. In 10
years
Use synonyms
 between 1990 and 2000, many changes are shown in the
percentage
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is where many outliers take place in the chart, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 no
consistence
Correct your spelling
consistency
show examples
Use synonyms
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 or
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 10
years
Use synonyms
 period.
Instead
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 goes inconsistently up and down. The lowest
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 10
years
Use synonyms
 period is below 5% and the highest is approximately 7% to 8%. From 2000 to 2010, the chart demonstrates a consistent
increase
Use synonyms
 from 5% to 10%. And
finally
Linking Words
, from the
last
Linking Words
 10
years
Use synonyms
,
2010
Change preposition
from 2010
show examples
 to 2020, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of adolescents following a vegetarian diet remains relatively the same at 10% with little changes.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 86%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, years, increase with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 9 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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