IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Employers should give their staff at least four weeks holiday a year to make employees better at their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#employers #staff #four #weeks #holiday #year #employees #work
Some
people
 believe that giving at least four weeks of vacation a year to
employees
 will bring a positive impact on their work. On my side,
this
 point seems acceptable, because a
holiday
 usually improves effectiveness and helps to relieve
stress
. First and foremost,
employees
 tend to do their job more effectively after a short-term break from work, since most
people
 tend to feel energetic after that period. It is
also
 proven that
employees
' working speed increases as much as twice after the
holiday
.
Secondly
, most
people
 spend time on their interesting activities,
such
 as travelling during
this
 period, so it plays a significant role in relieving their
stress
.
For instance
,
according to
 a survey of a company in my country, over 67 per cent of their workers said that a working
holiday
 is a prime thing for reducing their
stress
.
In addition
, during the work
holiday
employees
 are more likely to spend time with their family members, who are one of the most important factors in the employee's success.
Therefore
, a
holiday
also
 makes the family members satisfied and
as a result
,
employees
 will gratitude their employers.
However
, some
people
 adapt to
holiday
 schedules much
quicker
Correct quantifier usage
more quicker
show examples
 than others and feel more tired after a
holiday
.
Although
this
 is not the case for everyone,
thus
, companies or organizations should provide enough vacation time for their workers. In conclusion, giving a seasonal
holiday
 to the workers is a good way to improve their effectiveness, relieve their
stress
 and satisfy their family members.
Submitted by okhaliunaa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • creativity
  • mental well-being
  • physical well-being
  • recharge
  • rejuvenate
  • personal growth
  • development
  • loyalty
  • commitment
  • exploration
  • different perspectives
  • talent retention
  • job satisfaction
  • stress reduction
What to do next:
Look at other essays: