IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#life #cycle #species #fish #salmon #summarise #information #features #comparisons
In
this
 picture,
this
 is the life cycle of species
Change preposition
of
show examples
large fish called the
salmon
.As we knew, the
salmon
 is
type
Add an article
a type
the type
show examples
 of
immigrate
Replace the word
immigrant
show examples
 fish, they lived in the water from rivers to the ocean .I will explain
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the circle life of the
salmon
. Before the mother
salmon
 had laid eggs,she had
digged
Correct your spelling
dug
show examples
 the hole to lay eggs.Each
eggs
Change to a singular noun
egg
show examples
 had
size
Correct article usage
a size
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 as small as the marbles.After had approved five to six months the egg hatched the fry (baby
salmon
) which had
size
Correct article usage
a size
show examples
 from three to eight
centimeters
Change the spelling
centimetres
show examples
.They began
traveled
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 to lower rivers.
After four
Change preposition
Four
show examples
 years later, they grew up to smoky which had
Correct article usage
a size
show examples
size
Fix the agreement mistake
sizes
show examples
 from twelve to fifteen
centimeters
Change the spelling
centimetres
show examples
.They went to the ocean, but they would be in danger .Because there were a lot of animals tried to
hunting
Change the verb
hunt
show examples
 them like bear, crocodile and the others.They
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
show examples
 the long way around the world from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
American Latin,Europe,
Africa
Correct word choice
and Africa
show examples
 to
Asian
Correct your spelling
Asia
show examples
.After they had
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
show examples
 for five years, they grew up
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 adult
salmon
.And the circle of life repeated over and over.
Submitted by jasmin6pham on

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Linking words: Add some linking words.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words salmon with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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