IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagrams below show the development of a small fishing village and its surrounding area into a large European tourist resort.

The diagrams below show the development of a small fishing village and its surrounding area into a large European tourist resort.
#diagrams #show #development #village #area #european #tourist #resort
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The pictures illustrate the layout of development in
fishing
Add an article
a fishing
show examples
village
Use synonyms
 in 1974 and 2004.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the main changes of the
village
Use synonyms
 became a resort for tourists. A
big
Correct word choice
large
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 number of
attraction
Fix the agreement mistake
attractions
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 were built in the fishing
village
Use synonyms
. In 1974, the
village
Use synonyms
 only had 12,000 people, forest and some kind of household were the main activities of citizens in
a
Remove the article
apply
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daily life.
However
Linking Words
, after 30 years, the population of the
village
Use synonyms
 dramatically
grown
Wrong verb form
grew
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at
Change preposition
to
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 nearly 80,000 citizens.
Also
Linking Words
, there were
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
about 50,000 tourists.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the main cause of
Correct article usage
the increase
show examples
increase
Correct article usage
the increase
show examples
Change preposition
in
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the number of people
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 the new
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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 and attractions
such
Linking Words
 as a golf course, a beach, hotels, tourist shops and so on. In 2004,
instead
Linking Words
 of woodland,
according to
Linking Words
 the layout
Add a comma
,
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there were built the golf course.
However
Linking Words
,
original
Correct article usage
the original
show examples
 fishing buildings did not
experienced
Change the verb form
experience
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 any changes. What about the
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
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 like olives, sheep and goats were replaced ,
instead
Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 people have manufactured a farm which
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 the hotels with products like fruits and vegetables.
Submitted by nuraiorynbassar07 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, instead".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words village with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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