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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The most common solution for criminal behaviour is prison but many believe education is a better method. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is a debate about whether prison or
education
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 is the better solution for reducing criminal
behaviour
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.
This
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 essay completely agrees with the latter because
education
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 is a more effective approach not only can provide knowledge but
also
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 develops
skills
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 that are necessary for future careers.
To begin
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 with,
education
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 can teach
individuals
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 about good
behaviour
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 through activities
such
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 as sports teams and living with others.
For example
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, a recent study found that
individuals
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 who participated in courses on controlling their temperaments were better able to manage their emotions and avoid aggressive
behaviour
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.
Furthermore
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,
education
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 can provide opportunities for
individuals
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 to learn about conflict resolution, empathy, and communication
skills
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 that are important for positive relationships and reducing the likelihood of criminal
behaviour
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.
Additionally
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,
education
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 can provide
individuals
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 with
skills
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 that are necessary for future careers, reducing the likelihood of falling back into criminal activity,
such
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 as computer
skills
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 and English conversation.
While
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 people who stay in prison because of their gravity do not have the opportunity to learn these
skills
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 efficiently, as they need to focus on adapting daily and making friends for survival.
For instance
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, in Thailand, where the government provides training and
education
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 to
individuals
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 who have engaged in minor criminal activity, the recidivism rate is significantly lower than in some countries that rely solely on punishment, as found in a recent study. In conclusion,
although
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 some people believe that prison is the better method for reducing criminal
behaviour
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,
education
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 is a more effective solution for reducing criminal
behaviour
Use synonyms
 because
education
Use synonyms
 can provide knowledge and good activity,
as well as
Linking Words
 develop
skills
Use synonyms
 that are necessary for the future.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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