IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that good teamwork is what makes companies successful. Others feel that it is more important to have a good leader. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #teamwork #companies #leader
Many people argue that one good boss is crucial to making the association most successful
while
 some critics think that without teamwork, the
company
's success is doubtful.
This
 essay will highlight some points on both arguments on
this
 topic. I believe that an experienced chief is more important for the
company
's triumph.
To begin
 with, real teamwork could assist
to complete
Change preposition
in completing
show examples
 a task on a given target and within budget.
In other words
, the team can come up with solutions to any project's obstacle by using brainstorming methods, which can avoid delays and increase the organization's reputation.
For instance
, for the famous building in Dubai named Burj Khalifa, the Dubai government appreciated the
company
's enterprise teams through news channels to complete it with zero casualties and within the target time.
Therefore
, having a good team in an association can be helpful for the
company
's growth.
However
, for any organization, it is important to have a professional and experienced leader who can take it to peak success points.
That is
 to say, a good boss not only can win the tenders with his experience and communication skills, but
also
well
Rephrase
apply
show examples
know
Correct subject-verb agreement
knows
show examples
 how can manage his employees as per proposal requirements.
For example
, a headline in the newspaper The
Newyork
Correct your spelling
New York
show examples
 Times says that Apple is the world selling electronics devices group because of the direction of Apple's CEO Mr Tim Cook.
Thus
, in my opinion, a good head could have the capabilities to turn the collapsed
company
 into the most
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
successful. In conclusion,
although
 it is necessary to have good employees in an organization to handle the business for its achievement, without a good leader, the team can be distracted in the wrong path which can lead them in the other way.
Submitted by mandeepsinghsony2022 on

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Task Response
Address the specific points mentioned in the prompt and provide a balanced argument with supporting evidence for each view. Ensure that there is a clear opinion given at the end of the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Use cohesive devices and transition words to connect ideas and paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Collaboration
  • Synergy
  • Cohesion
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Delegation
  • Autonomy
  • Innovation
  • Morale
  • Strategic planning
  • Charisma
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