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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people think that some individuals are naturally good leaders. Other think that people can learn leadership skills. Discuss both views and give your own opion.

One of the social concerns today relates
about become
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to becoming
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 a talented
leader
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.
While
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 it is strongly believed that everyone is a naturally good
leader
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, others argue that
people
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could
Wrong verb form
can
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 learn
leadership
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skills
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, some individuals are naturally good
leaders
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 and they can become professional
leaders
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 who
had
Wrong verb form
have
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 learned
leadership
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skills
Use synonyms
 at universities or colleges. On the one hand, it is argued that
someones
Use the right word
some people
show examples
 are good
leaders
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 who have special
characters
Replace the word
characteristics
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 and are intelligent.
First,
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intelligence is an important element of a successful manager because it allows
to the manager
Correct word order
the manager to
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 think and take action quickly
with
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on
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 any problems.
Second,
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it is possible to say that they have genetics.
For example
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, if parents are doctors, almost all their children would study pharmaceuticals. Some adults who are managers or businessmen have to educate their children about management and
leadership
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skills
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. With his lifestyle and special character, the kid will have management in his mindset.
On the other hand
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, it is strongly believed that
people
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 can learn
leadership
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skills
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at
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in
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 schools or companies. Some special qualities of a
leader
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 seem like
in born
Use the right word
inborn
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,
leadership
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skills
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 can be gained by studying, training or working. The reason is
Use synonyms
people’s
Correct word choice
that people’s
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 behaviours can be changed and expanded by the environment. A particular example, every year
Punctuation problem
, The
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The
Fix capitalization
the
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 Vietnamese
Student’s
Check wording
Students’
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 Association of
The
Fix capitalization
the
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 University
is holding
Wrong verb form
holds
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 a programme for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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that is
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 choosing the
leader
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.
This
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 is a chance for all students who can show their
leadership
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skills
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 and their knowledge, which
support
Verb problem
helps
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 the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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to
Verb problem
apply
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become talented
leaders
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. Another example is teamwork
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 teamwork is a general skill at school or company. As
leaders
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,
people
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 should learn how to work with various kinds of
people
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. It is quite difficult to inspire employees to share ideas with others.
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Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
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 good
leaders
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 should have more
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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 to gain experience. In conclusion,
people
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 may have many
leadership
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 characteristics as inborn.
However
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, I believe that they have to take more time to learn some
leadership
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skills
Use synonyms
 in the working environment or
university
Change preposition
at university
show examples
.

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overview
Your answer tries to discuss both views and give your own opinion.
structure
Make a clear main idea in the introduction and keep it in each paragraph.
grammar
Fix grammar and sentence form so ideas are clear (for example, 'someones' should be 'some people').
content
Use examples that are clearly tied to the point you make and are easy to check.
coherence
Link your sentences with simple words (and, but, so, because) to help flow.
structure
Good layout: intro, body, and conclusion.
content
Attempts to cover both sides and give a view.
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