Figures show that some countries have an ever-increasing proportion of the population who are aged 15 or younger. What do you think are the current and future effects of this trend for those countries?
Youth plays a vital role in the growth of many nations . Today most countries reported a dramatic increase in the younger generation compared to the older ones.
This
essay will discuss the causes that going to account in present and future
for a country because of this
development.
First of all, the younger generation can make a lot of changes to a nation
because they are really energetic and smart. To elaborate , if the younger population increases it will lead to economic growth in a nation
. It is obvious that the outsourcing of foreign companies from various regions will become more interested to open
new branches in the country to acquire more talented and creative employees so that they can enhance the productivity of the corporates. Change preposition
in opening
Therefore
, corporates provide huge salary packages to gravitate
younger minds to the institution for different vacancies . Verb problem
attract
Hence
, it will lead to changes in the infrastructure of the cities in the nation
by accounting a
significant variation in every sector Change preposition
for a
such
as transport , health and education , eventually , it
owing to a sudden rise in economic growth.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
However
, in the future
, the current belief and cultures of the nations will innovate when the younger generation recognise other traditions are more exciting and fun than their current culture. Thereby, it will change the entire custom
, laws and lifestyle of the country . Fix the agreement mistake
customs
Consequently
, creating
new beliefs and traditions in countries. Wrong verb form
they create
For example
, in India living together custom was seen as a crime in the early days , Whereas
nowadays the law has completely changed by allowing citizens to do so. In ,addition unemployment could be major and could be a major problem for nations to concern more ,
because every individual will be highly educated and talented in every profession . Thereby , it will lead to huge completion in every work sector, as a result , major people.will be unemployed in the Remove the comma
apply
future
.
To conclude
, young people can be.a good asset for every nation
because they are highly talented and energetic as result
they can provide so many benefits to communities . Correct article usage
a result
However
, in ,future
it can have some drawbacks like diminishing.of old cultures and unemployment.Submitted by varshajose345 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. It also lacks a clear thesis statement and a clear summarizing conclusion, making it difficult to follow the writer's train of thought.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task, discussing the current and future effects of the trend of an ever-increasing proportion of the population aged 15 or younger. However, the response lacks depth and specific examples to support the points made, resulting in a superficial treatment of the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?