You have recently moved to a new neighbourhood and would like to join a sports centre there. You have found a private sports club. Write a letter to the manager of the sports club. In your letter, •introduce yourself •say why are you interested in this sports club •ask some questions about the club e.g facilities, membership, costs etc.

#neighbourhood #sports #centre #club #manager #•introduce #•say #•ask #questions #e #g #facilities #membership #costs

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Dear Sir/Madam, My name is Aman and I recently moved to the neighbourhood of Wicklow. I am writing

this

Linking Words

letter because I want to get information about your sports clubs. I have been a member of the gym where I lived before

that is

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the main reason. Here, I am

also

Linking Words

interested

to join

Change preposition

in joining

show examples

a social

club

Use synonyms

.A few days ago I saw your

club

Use synonyms

it is quite

nearby

Correct word choice

near

show examples

to my home.

Moreover

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,there are many members who are similar to my age it would be more beneficial for to me spend time and be friends of the same age group.

Additionally

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

social

club

Use synonyms

remains open all week including weekends.With

this

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, I can spend more time there on weekends.

However

Linking Words

, before joining

this

Linking Words

club

Use synonyms

I have some questions.Does the

club

Use synonyms

have a children's playground since I would bring my child with me

Linking Words

also

Rephrase

too

show examples

? Sometimes? Is there any membership and how much

its

Verb problem

does it

show examples

cost? I am looking forward to hearing from your son. Yours faithfully Aman

Submitted by amandeepmanngat93 on Tue Apr 11 2023

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task response

Ensure that the content covers all the points required in the prompt and provide relevant details about the candidate's interest, background, and questions about the club.

coherence and cohesion

Organize the content in a more coherent manner, using appropriate paragraphing and transition words to improve the overall flow and coherence of the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

162 words

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