You have recently moved to a new neighbourhood and would like to join a sports centre there. You have found a private sports club. Write a letter to the manager of the sports club. In your letter, •introduce yourself •say why are you interested in this sports club •ask some questions about the club e.g facilities, membership, costs etc.

#neighbourhood #sports #centre #club #manager #•introduce #•say #•ask #questions #e #g #facilities #membership #costs

Dear Sir/Madam, My name is Aman and I recently moved to the neighbourhood of Wicklow. I am writing

this

letter because I want to get information about your sports clubs. I have been a member of the gym where I lived before

that is

the main reason. Here, I am

also

interested

to join

Change preposition

in joining

show examples

a social

club

.A few days ago I saw your

club

it is quite

nearby

Correct word choice

near

show examples

to my home.

Moreover

,there are many members who are similar to my age it would be more beneficial for to me spend time and be friends of the same age group.

Additionally

this

social

club

remains open all week including weekends.With

this

, I can spend more time there on weekends.

However

, before joining

this

club

I have some questions.Does the

club

have a children's playground since I would bring my child with me

also

Rephrase

too

show examples

? Sometimes? Is there any membership and how much

its

Verb problem

does it

show examples

cost? I am looking forward to hearing from your son. Yours faithfully Aman

Submitted by amandeepmanngat93 on Tue Apr 11 2023

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task response

Ensure that the content covers all the points required in the prompt and provide relevant details about the candidate's interest, background, and questions about the club.

coherence and cohesion

Organize the content in a more coherent manner, using appropriate paragraphing and transition words to improve the overall flow and coherence of the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

162 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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