You have recently moved to a new neighbourhood and would like to join a sports centre there. You have found a private sports club. Write a letter to the manager of the sports club. In your letter, •introduce yourself •say why are you interested in this sports club •ask some questions about the club e.g facilities, membership, costs etc.

#neighbourhood #sports #centre #club #manager #•introduce #•say #•ask #questions #e #g #facilities #membership #costs

Dear Sir/Madam, My name is Aman and I recently moved to the neighbourhood of Wicklow. I am writing

this

letter because I want to get information about your sports clubs. I have been a member of the gym where I lived before

that is

the main reason. Here, I am

also

interested

to join

Change preposition

in joining

show examples

a social

club

.A few days ago I saw your

club

it is quite

nearby

Correct word choice

near

show examples

to my home.

Moreover

,there are many members who are similar to my age it would be more beneficial for to me spend time and be friends of the same age group.

Additionally

this

social

club

remains open all week including weekends.With

this

, I can spend more time there on weekends.

However

, before joining

this

club

I have some questions.Does the

club

have a children's playground since I would bring my child with me

also

Rephrase

too

show examples

? Sometimes? Is there any membership and how much

its

Verb problem

does it

show examples

cost? I am looking forward to hearing from your son. Yours faithfully Aman

Submitted by amandeepmanngat93 on Tue Apr 11 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Ensure that the content covers all the points required in the prompt and provide relevant details about the candidate's interest, background, and questions about the club.

coherence and cohesion

Organize the content in a more coherent manner, using appropriate paragraphing and transition words to improve the overall flow and coherence of the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

162 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In some countries, teenagers have part-time jobs while they are still at school. What benefits does this bring for the teenager? Are there any drawbacks?
Although working a few hours a day while studying has some benefits for the young ones, it can also cause serious issues. This essay will demonstrate how students develop the knowledge and skills required for their future employment but will also show that this can lead to such problems as a lack of focus on studies. Whilst acknowledging that there are positives, the essay will argue that the disadvantages of such jobs outweigh the advantages.
7.5
band
As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?
The essential component in people’s happiness is the sense of satisfaction in their work because adults spend most of their time working. One’s fulfilment can be influenced by wages and supportive coworkers. However, these days many workers are dissatisfied with their jobs because of an imbalance between the amount of paycheck and the responsibility.
4.5
band
Government give lots of support to artists, even though some people believe it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both the views and give your opinion
These days the Government is giving a lot of attention to artists However there are predominantly two contrasting views where a section of society vehemently deems that spending a lot of money on supporting artists is not useful while another emphasizes that it is a positive step taken by higher authorities.
4.5
band
You and some friends ate a meal at a reataurant to celebrate a special occasion, and you were very pleased with the food and services. Write a letter to the restaurant manager. In your letter, give details of your visit to the restaurant, explain the reason for the celebration, say what was good about the food and the services.
I am writing a letter in appreciation of about the best event in your cafe.
5.5
band
The pie chart shows the number of people who were using different languages online. The table shows the average number of people online each year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie diagram depicts the population in different online languages in 2001 while the table chart gives the number of people who using internet each year between 1997 and 2001. Briefly, English was the most popular languge in the online world, moreover the trend of users incresed over the period.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In some countries, teenagers have part-time jobs while they are still at school. What benefits does this bring for the teenager? Are there any drawbacks?

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

Government give lots of support to artists, even though some people believe it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

The pie chart shows the number of people who were using different languages online. The table shows the average number of people online each year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.