IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. Leisure time in a typical week in hour- by sex and employment status, 1998-99.

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The given chart illustrates the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 people spent on their
leisure
Use synonyms
 activities in a week from 1998 to 1999. The data is divided into gender and employment status. Taking a closer look at the graph, one can see both unemployed genders spent the most
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
, 85
hours
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 and 79
hours
Use synonyms
, respectively. Retired men invested a similar amount of
time
Use synonyms
 in
leisure
Use synonyms
 activities, 83
hours
Use synonyms
, but those women spent the same
time
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 as unemployed women, 79
hours
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, men who were housewives and were recruited from part-
time
Use synonyms
 positions enjoyed zero
leisure
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hours
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, female housewives use 50
hours
Use synonyms
 a week, which was higher than women working a part-
time
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 job(40
hours
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).
Overall
Linking Words
, it is true that men in each employment status usually spent much
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
, except for two categories.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, leisure, time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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