IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table shows how much water is used in three sectors in 6 countries

The table shows how much water is used in three sectors in 6 countries
#water #three #sectors #countries
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The table illustrates the amount of
water
Use synonyms
 which was spent in different fields,
such
Linking Words
 as domestic, agricultural and industrial The table illustrates information about
water
Use synonyms
 consumption in six different
countries
Use synonyms
 for
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
purposes
Change preposition
of purposes
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
countries
Use synonyms
 used
water
Use synonyms
 for farming more than in other fields.
However
Linking Words
, the lowest proportion of
water
Use synonyms
spent
Add a missing verb
is spent
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 local needs. As can be clearly seen
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Russia, Turkey and Canada achieved the highest
water
Use synonyms
 usage in agriculture
1863
Change preposition
at 1863
show examples
 m3, 1482 m3,1238 m3 respectively. Next came the UK,
China
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 and Australia, with consumption lower than 810 m3 each for agriculture activities. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
industries, 832 m3 and 731 m3 of
water
Use synonyms
 was used by Canadians and Turks
accordingly
Linking Words
,
whereas
Linking Words
 less
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 400 m3 of
water
Use synonyms
 was used in the UK and Australia. In
countries
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
us
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
China
Use synonyms
 and Russia used less than 70 m3 each.
Finally
Linking Words
, approximately 350m3 and 280 m3 of
water
Use synonyms
,
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 used for domestic needs in two
countries
Use synonyms
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Australia and Canada respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
China
Use synonyms
 and Turkey used
water
Use synonyms
 below 100 m3,
while
Linking Words
 only 38 m3 of
water
Use synonyms
 was used by
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and 26 m3 by
China
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by bkhojiakbar on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, countries, m, china with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
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