IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Task 1 - Me: The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Task 1 - Me: The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #police #budget #area #britain #money #show #summarise #features #comparisons
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The table illustrates the different sources of total police
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 in a section of the United Kingdom,
while
Linking Words
 the pie charts compare how the money was spent
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in 2017 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was an increase in the police budget of the area in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, and the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of salaries paid for national
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 went out.
However
Linking Words
, the expense
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 building and transport
was remained
Change to the active voice
remained
has remained
show examples
 stable over
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 years surveyed. Looking at the table, the majority of
budget
Add an article
the budget
show examples
 came from National Government, contributing 175.5m in 2017, compared to 91.2m for Local Taxes. After one year, police witnessed
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
slight growth in the Government source to 177.8m;
likewise
Linking Words
, Local Taxes
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rose significantly to 102.3m. Around 38m
was remained
Change to the active voice
remained
has remained
show examples
 for other sources within two years. In other graphs, in the first
year
Add a comma
,year
show examples
 the percentage of
staffs’
Change noun form
staff’s
show examples
 salaries was reported 75%, the highest expenditure,
whereas
Linking Words
 only 8% of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
 was spent on Technology.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there was a slight decrease in Salaries to 69% in 2018,
while
Linking Words
 the amount of expense for technology
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rose dramatically to 14%. Only 17% of
Add an article
the fund
show examples
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 was used for public
facinities
Correct your spelling
facilities
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
maintained in both years.
Submitted by haotoday98 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words m with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fiscal allocations
  • Revenue streams
  • Budgetary oversight
  • Expenditure
  • Financial appropriation
  • Government grants
  • Local taxation
  • Operational costs
  • Capital investment
  • Public safety
  • Crime prevention
  • Community policing
  • Resource allocation
  • Year-on-year comparison
  • Budgetary constraints
  • Fiscal year
  • Fund disbursement
  • Budget deficit/surplus
  • Trend analysis
  • Financial sustainability
  • Law enforcement funding
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