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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart gives information about the urban and rural dwellers in
Australia
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, showing
Linking Words
further
Add an article
a further
the further
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 comparison between
people
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 born in
Australia
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 and outside of
Australia
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 in the years 1995 and 2010. It can be clearly seen that a major percentage of
Australian
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 residents chose to live in cities in both 1995 and 2010.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
towns
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 have the least proportion of
people
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 living in them during both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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years. In 1995,over three-fifth of the immigrant
Australian
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 population and almost half of the native
Australian
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 population chose to live in the cities, making them the most populated.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Rural areas
also
Linking Words
 had a significant number of less than 40%.
However
Linking Words
,
towns
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 were the least inhabited spaces chosen with less than 20% of the natives and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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immigrants. In 2010, more
people
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 moved to the cities with nearly 70% the
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australian-born
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Australian-born
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 and over four-fifth of the
expat
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ex-pat
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 population.
Towns
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 had an equal percentage of
Australian
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 citizens which was approximately 18%.
Whereas
Linking Words
, less than one-tenth of
people
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 born outside
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australia
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Australia
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 resided
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towns
Change preposition
in towns
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 and rural areas.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, people, australian, towns with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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