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Band 2

Many people, all around the world, experienced bad situations. Some belive that we must accept those things such as do not have a satisfactinal job. Others do not agree with this point of view and argue that it is better to try hard and change the situations. We will discuss bothe in the following essay.

#people #world #situations #belive #job #point #change #bothe
On the
one
 hand, many think that their life is destiny that
wrote
Wrong verb form
was written
show examples
 in the past and no
one
 can
change
 it. In important areas namely their job, shortage of money and even where they live. If they
are not be
Change the verb form
are not
show examples
 happy with their job, they will accept it and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not think about
change
Change the verb form
changing
show examples
 it. Or if their income is not enough for their family, they will not ask
help
Change preposition
for help
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of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 others. They will accept it and would not
trying
Change the verb form
try
be trying
show examples
 to
change
 things.
On the other hand
, there are many people who are trying hard to
change
 their lives and will not accept less or
bad
Correct word choice
worse
show examples
.
For example
,
some
Correct your spelling
someone
show examples
one
 who does not have a good job, try to find another
one
 that would like more and satisfy him/her. People like
this
 try hard to take some good actions that might
change
 their way of living. In conclusion, I cannot accept the first
group
Change noun form
group's
show examples
 opinion and I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that we write our stories by hard working and
do
Verb problem
making
show examples
 some changes that make us happy in our lives.
Submitted by shojaeinejad_m on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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