the two pie charts below show some employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992

#two #show #employment #patterns #britain

The pie charts illustrate information about the patterns of some careers of both males and females in Great Britain in 1992.

Overall

, it can be seen that the total of non-manual

employment

; manager and professional, clerical or related and other types had a major proportion of female careers,

while

the sum of the percentage of manual and non-manual

employment

in males had the slightly same proportion. For female non-manual career information, both

clerical

Correct article usage

the clerical

show examples

or related

group

and the managerial and professional

group

had over half at 60% and were at 31% and 29% respectively, meanwhile the total of manual

employment

; craft or similar, general labourers and

other

Correct pronoun usage

others

show examples

were just 31% Turning to male

employment

information, the biggest number of careers was managerial and professional in the non-manual

group

at 36%. Another manual was 24%

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the second biggest proportion and third was craft or similar career of the manual

group

at 26%

while

other manual

employment

, clerical or related

group

career and general labourers were the small part at 6%, 6% and just only 2% respectively.

Submitted by vanil on Thu Apr 13 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, group with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

▼

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

176 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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the two pie charts below show some employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992

Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is a good thing that senior managers have higher salaries than others workers of a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The world of work is changing rapidly and people cannot depend on the same job or same conditions of work for life. Discuss the possible causes for these changes and give your suggestions on how people should prepare for work in the future.

Some People think that students who achieve the best academic results should be rewarded. Other believe it is more important to reward student who show improvement. Discuss both opinion and views.