the two pie charts below show some employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992

the two pie charts below show some employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992
The pie charts illustrate information about the patterns of some careers of both males and females in Great Britain in 1992.
Overall
, it can be seen that the total of non-manual
employment
; manager and professional, clerical or related and other types had a major proportion of female careers,
while
the sum of the percentage of manual and non-manual
employment
in males had the slightly same proportion. For female non-manual career information, both
clerical
Correct article usage
the clerical
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or related
group
and the managerial and professional
group
had over half at 60% and were at 31% and 29% respectively, meanwhile the total of manual
employment
; craft or similar, general labourers and
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
were just 31% Turning to male
employment
information, the biggest number of careers was managerial and professional in the non-manual
group
at 36%. Another manual was 24%
at
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apply
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the second biggest proportion and third was craft or similar career of the manual
group
at 26%
while
other manual
employment
, clerical or related
group
career and general labourers were the small part at 6%, 6% and just only 2% respectively.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, group with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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