the two pie charts below show some employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992

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The pie charts illustrate information about the patterns of some careers of both males and females in Great Britain in 1992.

Overall

Linking Words

, it can be seen that the total of non-manual

employment

Use synonyms

; manager and professional, clerical or related and other types had a major proportion of female careers,

while

Linking Words

the sum of the percentage of manual and non-manual

employment

Use synonyms

in males had the slightly same proportion. For female non-manual career information, both

clerical

Correct article usage

the clerical

show examples

or related

group

Use synonyms

and the managerial and professional

group

Use synonyms

had over half at 60% and were at 31% and 29% respectively, meanwhile the total of manual

employment

Use synonyms

; craft or similar, general labourers and

other

Correct pronoun usage

others

show examples

were just 31% Turning to male

employment

Use synonyms

information, the biggest number of careers was managerial and professional in the non-manual

group

Use synonyms

at 36%. Another manual was 24%

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the second biggest proportion and third was craft or similar career of the manual

group

Use synonyms

at 26%

while

Linking Words

other manual

employment

Use synonyms

, clerical or related

group

Use synonyms

career and general labourers were the small part at 6%, 6% and just only 2% respectively.

vanilThu Apr 13 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, group with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

▼

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

176 words

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the two pie charts below show some employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992

Question, without capital punishment our lives less secure crimes and violence increase , capital punishments is essential to control violence to what extent do you agree or disagree ?

As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. What are the causes of this trend and what are the effects on society？

Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Will the benefits of this outweigh the problems associated with it?

NOW a days people are using more consumer goods like refrigerators or washing machines. Does it has more advantages or disadvantages

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.