Many countries now have people from different cultures and ethnic groups. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

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The present century has witnessed the surprisingly increasing formation of multicultural societies where

people

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who belong to a different

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culture

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cultures

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religion

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religions

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and

nation

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nations

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stay together.

Although

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it has both negative and positive effects on a

country

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. There are many reasons why

people

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tend to emigrate from one

country

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to another. I would discuss some reasons,

along with

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its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

merits and demerits in the upcoming paragraph.

To begin

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with some causes of why

people

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move from

country

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country

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First

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The first

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and foremost reason is for

better

Correct article usage

a better

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living

standard

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standards

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. Developed nations provide excellent services like health care services, career opportunities and many more to their citizens, so that’s why

people

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from undeveloped or developing

countries

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shift to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

developed nation for

their

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show examples

better future.

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Moreover

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,Moreover

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nowadays most

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apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children pursue their studies

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apply

show examples

abroad because of their facilities

such

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scholarship

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scholarships

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, practical

skill

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skills

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and education system which they do not receive in their own

country

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and

that is

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one of the reasons

people

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move to another

country

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Nevertheless

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this

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demographic trend brings many advantages to raced mixed

countries

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Firstly

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, immigrants

such

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as engineers, scholars and other highly skilled professionals create competition

as well as

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productivity which

boost

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boosts

show examples

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apply

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the

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countries’

Correct your spelling

countries

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economy.

Secondly

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this

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trend promotes different customs and traditions

such

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as new languages, food and fashion.

In addition

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Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

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way, a small

country

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’s

culture

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gets an international standard which is very beneficial for

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

nation to which it belongs.

For example

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, Punjabi

culture

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is famous in many

countries

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because many Punjabi

people

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are settled in different

countries

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Further

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, multiculturalism

also

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fosters cultural diversity and

hence

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people

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become open-minded and tolerant.

However

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, despite its benefits,

this

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situation has some negative consequences. Sometimes different

culture

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leads

some

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to some

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conflicts between

people

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which create disturbance in society and indirectly affect the

country

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’s economy.

For example

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, in America, where it has still existed

the

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distinction between the White and the Black man

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is.

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In conclusion,

although

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having lots of merits of multi-cultures but drawbacks should not be ignored. I believe that the government’s control plays a vital role in society’s growth and development. So they have to make sure that equality and justice should be maintained if they want to move smoothly.

nguyenhuyena9k18Thu Apr 13 2023

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17
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.5

Complete response

8.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

365 words

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Many countries now have people from different cultures and ethnic groups. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people say that the best way to improve health is by increasing the number of health facilities.Others,However,say that this woud have little effect on public health and that other measure are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many jobs used to be done by hand, but nowadays an increasing number of them are done using machines instead. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this development.

Many social media accounts are fake What problems does ths cause? What Solatons can you suget?

Around the world it is likely that more adults will work from and more children will study from home as computer technology become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think it is a negative or a positive development?