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Writing Samples
Band 6

it is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. What do you think is the reason for a growth in the rate of juvenile crime? What solutions can be offer to deal with this situation?

#crime #violence #media #reason #growth #rate #offer #situation
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Juvenile delinquency has always been one of the topics of interest. Some people believe that
media
Use synonyms
 is responsible for the growing rate of violence among teenagers. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the reason for
such
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 a trend
as well as
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providing
Wrong verb form
provide
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 some solutions to tackle
this
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 problem. First and foremost, youngsters are highly influenced by what they see, and they are likely to accept and imitate those behaviours. In today's world, most of the time of
a
Correct article usage
apply
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young
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 is spent on video games and social
media
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, which motivates them to commit a crime.
In addition
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, peer pressure can make them undertake these activities, and to be more precise peers can have an additional effect on
media
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.
For example
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, a group of students might participate in a violent issue, being inspired by a computer game. Some solutions can be recommended for
this
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 dilemma, and we should consider that prevention is always better than cure. Prevention can be done from the level of government and
also
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 a family. Authorities,
for instance
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, must hold programs to teach
this
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 age group that they will be punished if they do not obey the rules.
On the other hand
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, parents have to monitor their child's activities, but not in a way which makes them feel they are being checked.
Moreover
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, family members should be close to each other, and in
this
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case
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case,
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 they can identify any brutal action of their offspring. In conclusion, juvenile crime has many reasons, and a majority of each community blames the
media
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 for the increased criminal accidents, especially by youths. The most critical reason might be the imitation tendency, which can be solved by teaching them in seminars, schools and even
media
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. Parents have to assess how their time is being spent.
Submitted by sheida95jahanbekam on

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coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more impactful and insightful. Make sure to clearly introduce your stance and summarise your main points.
task response
Make sure all parts of the question are answered directly. Also, provide more specific examples and relate them back to the reasons for juvenile crime and suggested solutions.
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