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Band 5.5

Two maps below show the changes in the town of Denham from 1986 to the present day

Two maps below show the changes in the town of Denham from 1986 to the present day
#two #maps #show #changes #town #denham
The map compares the change that a town went through in Denham from 1986 to 2016.
Overall
, there have been
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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several changes, the most noticeable changes are the elimination of farmland, construction of new roads,
building
Correct word choice
and building
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 of retirement
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
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 and
also
residental
Correct your spelling
residential
houses
. In 1986, to the west of the main
road
 where it is placed nearby River Stoke shops and post
office
Fix the agreement mistake
offices
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 were settled down there with some
houses
.
Also
, there was
a
Remove the article
apply
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farmland right below
houses
Correct article usage
the houses
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. Next to
this
,
firstly
, the farmland and
houses
 were built
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the east of the
road
.
Following
this
,
primary
Correct article usage
a primary
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 school and
fenced
Correct article usage
a fenced
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 area which contains
garden
Add an article
a garden
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 and
large
Correct article usage
a large
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 house were constructed. Turning to
the
Change the article
apply
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2016, it can be seen that farmlands were all gone,
houses
 were increased and the town
were
Change the verb form
was
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 quite modernized. Primary school
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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remained as done
post
Correct article usage
the post
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 office, shops were replaced by
houses
. Because they were converted into
a
Correct article usage
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retirement home, gardens and large house which were in the fenced area were all demolished and a
road
were
Change the verb form
was
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 built from there to the main
road
.
Submitted by gulubalaki on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words houses, road with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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