IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Two maps below show the changes in the town of Denham from 1986 to the present day

Two maps below show the changes in the town of Denham from 1986 to the present day
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The map compares the change that a town went through in Denham from 1986 to 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
, there have been
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
several changes, the most noticeable changes are the elimination of farmland, construction of new roads,
building
Correct word choice
and building
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 of retirement
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
residental
Correct your spelling
residential
houses
Use synonyms
. In 1986, to the west of the main
road
Use synonyms
 where it is placed nearby River Stoke shops and post
office
Fix the agreement mistake
offices
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 were settled down there with some
houses
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, there was
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
farmland right below
Use synonyms
houses
Correct article usage
the houses
show examples
. Next to
this
Linking Words
,
firstly
Linking Words
, the farmland and
houses
Use synonyms
 were built
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the east of the
road
Use synonyms
.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
primary
Correct article usage
a primary
show examples
 school and
fenced
Correct article usage
a fenced
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 area which contains
garden
Add an article
a garden
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 and
large
Correct article usage
a large
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 house were constructed. Turning to
the
Change the article
apply
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2016, it can be seen that farmlands were all gone,
houses
Use synonyms
 were increased and the town
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 quite modernized. Primary school
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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remained as done
post
Correct article usage
the post
show examples
 office, shops were replaced by
houses
Use synonyms
. Because they were converted into
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
retirement home, gardens and large house which were in the fenced area were all demolished and a
road
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 built from there to the main
road
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words houses, road with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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