IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many men and women are making the decision to have children later in life. Why is this trend occuring? What are the impact of this developement on both family and society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example.

#men #women #decision #children #life #trend #impact #developement #society
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Married couples nowadays tend to postpone the start of gestation
due to
 high living costs for living and education.
Such
 phenomena could cause a great distinction of age between
parpnts
Correct your spelling
parents
 and kids, which will decrease the
time
 they spent together.
Moreovr
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,
Correct article usage
the currently
show examples
currently
Change the word
current
show examples
 low birth rate could provoke negative effects in societies, including low demand for educators, and lack of
manpoewr
Correct your spelling
manpower
 in
workplace
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the workplace
show examples
 in the future.
To begin
 with, one of the cogent causes of many couples decide having
baby
Add an article
a baby
show examples
 later than sooner is based
on
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apply
show examples
a growing number
fo
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
double income
Add a hyphen
double-income
show examples
 families, to cope with a
consistant
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consistent
constant
 rise
living
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in living
show examples
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 derived from surging inflation. The good thing is by the
time
 they have children, they are able to provide their younger generation
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
better life and education.
However
, the large distinction of age will make them hard to
commuicate
Correct your spelling
communicate
, and could not provide the company youth need in their childhood. First of all, when it comes to family,
such
 trends will foster more youth
spent
Change the verb form
to spend
show examples
 more
time
 with their peers or
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 friends in the virtual world. Which could be dangerous when young individuals are too young to tell right from wrong.
Secondly
, a low birth rate for a long span of
time
 could
provokes
Change the verb form
provoke
show examples
 negative effects in societies, including the shortage of manpower in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
. expected in the future, and many educational institutions
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 present will have to close due
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 lack of students. Take Taiwan as an example, many schools are shouted down since they could not
recrue
Correct your spelling
recruit
 sufficient students, especially those in
suburb
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suburban
show examples
 areas, which peal the right for youth living in those regions to have
education
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an education
the education
show examples
.
To conclude
, there are various causes of young couples
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 birth
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their children in later life, in which the main reason is financial concerns.
Such
 situations could not only enlarge the generation
gat
Correct your spelling
gap
show examples
 in families
,
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apply
show examples
 but will force societies
cutting
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to cut
show examples
 down the number of schools, which makes it harder for
descendents
Correct your spelling
descendants
 who live in rural areas to persuade the acquisition of knowledge.
Submitted by unapoya0916 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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