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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows the tiny town of Headly village eventually merging with Fonton city from the period 1925 to 1975 till now.

The diagram below shows the tiny town of Headly village eventually merging with Fonton city from the period 1925 to 1975 till now.
Presented is the map exhibiting some changes to Headly
Village
Use synonyms
 and
Fonton
Use synonyms
 over a period 50-year commencing 1925. As transparent from the map, Headly
Village
Use synonyms
 and
Fonton
Use synonyms
 have experienced considerable changes during the period shown. The main developments are the expansion of transportation routes and the appearance of some facilities. In 1925, Headly
Village
Use synonyms
 and
Fonton
Use synonyms
 were completely separated.
Fonton
Use synonyms
 had a
railway
Use synonyms
 line running through it from east to north,
whereas
Linking Words
 Headly had a small road crossing it from west to north. Over a period of 50 years, a few remarkable changes occurred , and Headly and
Fonton
Use synonyms
 were significantly expanded. In Headly, the small road was replaced by a bigger road and was extended to the east to connect with
Fonton
Use synonyms
 City. A housing estate, a leisure centre and a local shop were constructed in Headly. Currently, Headly
Village
Use synonyms
 merges with
Fonton
Use synonyms
 to become Headly suburbs. The
railway
Use synonyms
 line in
Fonton
Use synonyms
 is extended to the west. A
railway
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 station, a hotel and a business park are built near the
railway
Use synonyms
 line.

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words village, fonton, railway with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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