Some countries have high unemployment rate, so some people think that children should only go to primary school, not high school because they won't find a job later. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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People without occupations are increasing;

hence

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, people suppose that children solely need to study until high school. From my perspective, I am totally against

this

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viewpoint and will elaborate on some reasons to justify

this

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stance. First and foremost, the primary rationale would appear to be better growth.

That is

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to say, when children possess more opportunities to access education, they can develop all aspects of their mental and physical health. It means that they can study some subjects, typically math, gymnastics, and science.

Therefore

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, they can boost their brains to acquire new information and have sufficient knowledge for working in the future and enhance their major competence with top-notch initiatives.

Furthermore

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, another motive relates to higher soft skills. To be more specific, they not only broaden their horizons but

also

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receive a variety of meaningful lessons and experiences pertaining to strange situations.

Moreover

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, if they are taught for a longer time, they will meet some practical behaviours and

then

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know how to apply their expertise to solve difficult circumstances.

As a result

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, they know the ways to go through ups and downs

as well as

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obstacles.

For example

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, they are educated in good communication abilities to team up with their peers in order to obtain the best results in their work. From that, young generations effortlessly implement these things for their career later and reach their summit of professions. In conclusion, it would be logical

to conclude

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that giving up going to high school should be rejected by virtue of better growth and higher soft skills. In fact, higher education should be advocated because of its numerous merits for future work.

maianhdt12Sun Apr 16 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are well supported and logically organized.

task achievement

The response addresses the task prompt by arguing against the idea of children only going to primary school and providing reasons to support this view. However, some points could be further developed and supported with relevant examples.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Unemployment rate
Primary school
High school
Job market
Vocational training
Economic growth
Skills development
Human right
Social skills
Critical thinking
Innovation
Align with job market demands
Short-term vs. long-term impact
Global competitiveness
Fundamental human right
Civic participation
Professional development
Societal benefits
Economic landscapes

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Some countries have high unemployment rate, so some people think that children should only go to primary school, not high school because they won't find a job later. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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