Some countries have high unemployment rate, so some people think that children should only go to primary school, not high school because they won't find a job later. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People without occupations are increasing;
hence
, people suppose that children solely need to study until high school. From my perspective, I am totally against
this
viewpoint and will elaborate on some reasons to justify
this
stance. First and foremost, the primary rationale would appear to be better growth.
That is
to say, when children possess more opportunities to access education, they can develop all aspects of their mental and physical health. It means that they can study some subjects, typically math, gymnastics, and science.
Therefore
, they can boost their brains to acquire new information and have sufficient knowledge for working in the future and enhance their major competence with top-notch initiatives.
Furthermore
, another motive relates to higher soft skills. To be more specific, they not only broaden their horizons but
also
receive a variety of meaningful lessons and experiences pertaining to strange situations.
Moreover
, if they are taught for a longer time, they will meet some practical behaviours and
then
know how to apply their expertise to solve difficult circumstances.
As a result
, they know the ways to go through ups and downs
as well as
obstacles.
For example
, they are educated in good communication abilities to team up with their peers in order to obtain the best results in their work. From that, young generations effortlessly implement these things for their career later and reach their summit of professions. In conclusion, it would be logical
to conclude
that giving up going to high school should be rejected by virtue of better growth and higher soft skills. In fact, higher education should be advocated because of its numerous merits for future work.
Submitted by maianhdt12 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are well supported and logically organized.
task achievement
The response addresses the task prompt by arguing against the idea of children only going to primary school and providing reasons to support this view. However, some points could be further developed and supported with relevant examples.
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