Some people think that the role of parents is to discipline their children and teach them about right and wrong. Other people consider that the main responsibility of parents is to nurture their children and provide them with a safe environment to grow up in. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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While
it is commonly thought by some that the key responsibility of
parents
is being educators for their
children
, others claim providing safety is
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
vital
patents’
Change noun form
patents
show examples
role. In my opinion, I consider that
parents
definitely should pay attention
both
Change preposition
to both
show examples
the education and safety of their
children
. On the one hand, today, it is quite important to raise young people by giving them
clear
Add an article
a clear
show examples
understanding of the basic moral principles that will help them to become individuals. It is clear that
parents
can provide
this
knowledge for
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
generation, so
those role
Change the determiner
that role
those roles
show examples
should not be underestimated. There are lots of cases when
children
from orphanages are not acknowledged enough about it,
for instance
. They might struggle from being misunderstood
due to
educational
Correct article usage
the educational
show examples
gap.
Therefore
,
parents
’ role as primary educators about life basics is vital.
On the other hand
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
safety is considered by almost everyone as
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
life
criteria
Fix the agreement mistake
criterion
show examples
, especially when it comes to
children
.
This
is because they are too young and
unexperienced
Correct your spelling
inexperienced
show examples
to stay alone
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
uncommon
Correct article usage
an uncommon
show examples
world. Even if
children
are thought
by
Change preposition
of by
show examples
parents
as knowledgeable, they do have to be under
parents’
Correct pronoun usage
their parents’
show examples
control until they
will not be
Verb problem
are
show examples
able to differentiate
safe
Change preposition
between safe
show examples
and unsafe
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
.
Take the
Verb problem
The
show examples
example, browsing the Internet could be detrimental for young people because lots of viral websites or
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
are cruel at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
young age. From my point of view,
combination
Add an article
a combination
the combination
show examples
of educational background with protection from danger defines
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
successful future for young people by their
parents
.
While
one part allows
children
be
Add the particle
to be
show examples
educated,
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
be
Fix the infinitive
to be
show examples
protected. Would it be possible for
children
to be confident individuals with highly developed social-oriented skills if they had irresponsible
parents
? Surely, would not
Submitted by s_syedy on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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