IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.
#show #proportions #british #students #university #england #languages #addition #english
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The two pie charts illustrate the percentages of
British
Use synonyms
 university
students
Use synonyms
 who can use other languages
besides
Linking Words
 English in two different
years
Use synonyms
. In general, it can be clearly seen that there was a rise in the proportion of
second
Use synonyms
 and
third
Add a hyphen
third-language
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 speakers over a period of 10
years
Use synonyms
 and the majority of
British
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 could speak at least one foreign
Language
Use synonyms
 in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both
years
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the charts, the proportion of
British
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 who spoke a
second
Use synonyms
 and third
language
Use synonyms
 was 80%,
whereas
Linking Words
 those who spoke only English accounted for only 20% in 2000. After 10
years
Use synonyms
, the percentage of
second
Use synonyms
 and
third
Add a hyphen
third-language
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 speakers rose slightly by 5% from 70% to 70% and from 10% to 15% respectively. Spanish was the most common
second
Use synonyms
language
Use synonyms
 spoken by the
students
Use synonyms
 in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both
years
Use synonyms
, accounting for 30% in 2000 to 35% in 2010.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the proportion of
British
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 who spoke a
second
Use synonyms
language
Use synonyms
 apart from French, German,
Spanish
Correct word choice
and Spanish
show examples
 rose gently from 15% in 2000 to 20% in 2010.
While
Linking Words
 the percentage of Brutish
students
Use synonyms
 who spoke French indicated a decline
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 5% in 2010, there was a period of stability at 10% in the number of German speakers over the 10-year period.
Submitted by ssirirat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words british, students, years, second, language with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportions
  • British students
  • university
  • speaking other languages
  • language proficiency
  • overall trends
  • comparison
  • 2000
  • 2010
  • chart
  • data
  • percentage
  • significant
  • increase
  • decrease
  • noteworthy
  • comparative analysis
  • improvement
  • decline
  • conclusion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: