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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below gives information about the household percentage of spending on essential goods in China for the years 1995 and 2011

The chart below gives information about the household percentage of spending on essential goods in China for the years 1995 and 2011
The information about
Use synonyms
household
Add an article
the household
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 percentage of spending on essential
goods
Use synonyms
 for the years 1995 and 2011 in China, is given
on
Change preposition
in
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 the pie charts
bellow
Correct your spelling
below
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.
Overall
Linking Words
 the chart is divided
by
Change preposition
into
show examples
 two pie charts,each representing a different year, the one on the left
represent
Correct subject-verb agreement
represents
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 1995 and the one on the right gives the information for 2011. Meanwhile, both are divided
by
Change preposition
into
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 four
color
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colour
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 layers; Black for
household
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
, dark grey for
food
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,
gray
Change the spelling
grey
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 for medicine
abd
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and
 light
gray
Change the spelling
grey
show examples
 for clothing. As it is shown on the graph on the left,
food
Use synonyms
 takes for 68% of the
household
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 budget,
other wise
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otherwise
show examples
 on the graph
in
Change preposition
on
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 the left we can
observa
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observe
 a slight
deacrase
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decrease
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
houshold
Correct your spelling
household
goods
Use synonyms
 of 9% meanwhile there is
a an
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an
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 increase
on
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in
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food
Use synonyms
 and medicine for 2011.
Although
Linking Words
 there are many
diffrerences
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differences
 from 1945 to 2011, the budget
persentage
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percentage
 for
cloting
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clothing
closing
 almost
staed
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stayed
 the same as we only observe a
blight
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slight
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decrase
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decrease
 of 1%
throuout
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throughout
Linking Words
this years
Change the determiner
this year
these years
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. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
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nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
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 we
trend
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tend
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 to spend more
medicine
Change preposition
on medicine
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, and
food
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, as we spend slightly less on
household
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
 and clothing.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words household, goods, food with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "divided" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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