Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #services

News all over the world is saying that governments are laying out money on the

arts

. They think it will help

people

to keep the traditions alive

as well as

being entertained,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

it seems that the majority of

people

would disagree with those decisions

Add the comma(s)

, on the other hand,

show examples

on the other hand

They demand better public services

Add the comma(s)

, therefore,

show examples

therefore

the money must be put into it. On the one hand, those who think the government investment in

arts

will protect the legacy of ancestors

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apply

show examples

while

helping the younger generations to learn about their history and culture. for ,example festivals, theatres and particular events related to a particular culture will be Both enjoyable and informative. Another advantage of

this

decision is that

arts

will help

people

to improve their mental health, meaning that

people

feel

more happy

Replace the words

happier

show examples

and more satisfied in life. By ,contrast opponents of

this

view point out that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society has many more important and vital demands

for instance

, public services

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

one

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

them many believe that a lack of public services will lead to chaos and dissatisfaction in a country

Add the comma(s)

, therefore,

show examples

therefore

the fund should be spent on those things.

Finally

, it must be considered that not all the

people

actually like

arts

because their interest lie

elsewhere

thus

government should consider something else for

this

group.

Overall

, it is logical

to conclude

the decision to put money into

arts

really depends on

people

and the amount of wealth rather than a general view. The decision need to make

while

considering both real necessities and

people

's interests.

Submitted by shojaeinejad_m on Wed Apr 19 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural enrichment
expression of creativity
promote diversity
enhance social cohesion
boost tourism
job creation
stimulate economic growth
improve quality of life
essential services
maintenance and development

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Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the past, people used to travel aboard to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Question : Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. •What problems can lack of sleep cause? •What can be done about lack of sleep?

Some people prefer to relax by doing physical activities, while others choose mental activities such as crossword puzzles or chess. Discuss the both views and include your own opinion.

It is impossible to help all the people in the world who are in need, so governments should focus on people from their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?