IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You currently work full-time in a company but would like to change to working part-time. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter explain why you would like to change to working part-time work say what times and days of the week would suit you best suggest how your work could be covered or completed if you work part-time

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to request permission to modify my
work
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 schedule. I want to
alter
Verb problem
change
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 my
work
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 from full-time to part-time. I want to change my
work
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 schedule because I am going to attend
the
Correct article usage
apply
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private tuition for
IELTS
Correct article usage
the IELTS
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 examination. I have decided to study
further
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 in Canada, which is why I want to join it to improve my English skills.
Moreover
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, I am going to attend tuition in the evening.
Hence
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, the best time to
work
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 in a company is in the morning shift. So, I am available
all days
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every day
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 and morning
10:00
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from 10,00
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 AM to 1:30 PM.
Lastly
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, I made a plan that
descibe
Correct your spelling
describe
describes
 how I can manage my
work
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 during
this
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 part-time job. In the first two hours of the day, I will
work
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 on major projects, which will be running
on
Change preposition
at
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 that time.
Additionally
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, I will
also
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work
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 with juniors to solve their doubts and help them. I will spend other times with you to attend any meetings. I would appreciate it if you could look into
this
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 matter at your earliest convenience. I look forward to your reply. Yours faithfully, Milav Soni

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coherence and cohesion
Consider starting with a clear introduction that states your intention more explicitly, such as outlining your specific request right from the first paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly separate each point into distinct paragraphs to enhance readability and clarity. For instance, each of the reasons and suggestions could be elaborated in their own paragraphs.
task achievement
Review your closing statement to ensure it conveys a sense of urgency and anticipation for a response, enhancing the overall tone of your letter.
suitable writing tone
Your letter has a polite and respectful tone throughout, which is important in professional communication.
complete response
You provided a clear rationale for your request, showing your commitment to furthering your education and skills.
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