Some people suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

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Nowadays, people tend to
having
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have
show examples
a
job
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before going to
university
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or school to better know what they are interested in and want to do in the
future
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. So that it has a good benefit to faster know themselves before
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study
Add an article
the study
show examples
.
However
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, it
also
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has a drawback in the laziness to
study
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in
Change preposition
for
show examples
a higher degree in the
future
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. In
this
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essay, I will describe the
advantage
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advantages
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and
drawback
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drawbacks
show examples
and explain the reasons below.
For the
Change preposition
The
show examples
main advantage
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
having a
job
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between school
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
university
Use synonyms
is that it
making
Verb problem
lets
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that person know what they
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
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to do in the
future
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. Various
of
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apply
show examples
people try to find a
job
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before
enter
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entering
show examples
a
university
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to
finding
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
what they really
Add a missing verb
are interest
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interest
Replace the word
interested
show examples
in and want to pursue in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
future
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
.
For instance
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, people who do a
barisster
Correct your spelling
barrister
barista
job
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in
Add the comma(s)
, in this case,
show examples
this
Linking Words
case that person might know
themself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
that
subjuct
Correct your spelling
subject
subjects
like math or high academic subjects might not suit
thier
Correct your spelling
their
job
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in the
future
Use synonyms
than something like art or something related to what their mind into it.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, taking a
job
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during or between
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study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
might make that person lose
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
focus on what they
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study
Wrong verb form
are studying
show examples
. As we know
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
learning are basic need for our world communities and having a good academic might lead you
opportunities
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to opportunities
show examples
than
Rephrase
rather than
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just having jobs
Rephrase
apply
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instead
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.
For example
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,
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job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
might
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
distraction from going to
study
Use synonyms
a minimum standard of the workforce needed
such
Linking Words
as
undergraduate
Correct article usage
an undergraduate
show examples
in the
unversity
Correct your spelling
university
. In conclusion, finding a
job
Use synonyms
before
enter
Change the verb form
entering
show examples
a
university
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or school do have benefit and drawback as I
mention
Wrong verb form
mentioned
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
on
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apply
show examples
above. So
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
each way is great but it
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
on what your goal in life is
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
having a
job
Use synonyms
might be great but for those who
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
sure studying without having a
job
Use synonyms
first might be better ways.
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coherence cohesion
The essay shows some coherence and cohesion, but the logical structure is weak. The introduction and conclusion are present but need improvement. The main points are somewhat supported, but the development is lacking in clarity and relevance.
task achievement
The essay partially responds to the task, but the response is incomplete and lacks clarity. The ideas are not fully developed, and the examples provided are not always relevant to the points being made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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