IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Art is considered an essential part of all culture through the world. However, these days, fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science technology and bussiness. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts

#art #part #culture #world #people #focus #science #technology #bussiness #interest #arts
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Art
 is considered an important part of all
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
throught
Correct your spelling
throughout
through
 the world.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 nowadays a small proportion
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 appreciate
art
 and turn their interest to science, technology and
Correct your spelling
business
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
This
 essay intends to analyse why
this
 situation arise and analyse why
this
 situation arise and what measure can be put forward to sort out
this
 problem One of the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
, nowadays science
technology
Correct word choice
and technology
show examples
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
 is the backbone of several
economy
Change to a plural noun
economies
show examples
 rather
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 the arts through
this
 sector government are not
benfited
Correct your spelling
benefited
 that
why
Add a missing verb
is why
show examples
 most
authority
Change to a plural noun
authorities
show examples
rely
Add the preposition
onrely
uponrely
show examples
 are not relying on
this
 development.
Apart from
this
 government officials are massively investing in advanced facilities for
smooth
Correct article usage
the smooth
show examples
 functioning
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 economy to survive and cope with the nations
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
India is
top
Correct article usage
a top
show examples
Correct your spelling
contributor
contributer
Correct your spelling
contributor
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 gross domestic product which
constitute
Correct subject-verb agreement
constitutes
show examples
 25%
This
 can be sorted out by, the
government
Change noun form
government's
show examples
 need to support the artist by providing
finacial
Correct your spelling
financial
 aid to them
as well as
 by arranging
Add an article
the exhibition
show examples
exhibition
Fix the agreement mistake
exhibitions
show examples
. Platform to the
people
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
 the viewers. To be clearer,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art
 organisations can give chance for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 to take part in
Add an article
the competition
show examples
competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
show examples
 and
also
 by giving
reward
Fix the agreement mistake
rewards
show examples
 to the
people
 who make the best
art
.
Additionally
, in the academic
period
Add a comma
,period
show examples
 teacher should promote
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art
thus
,
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
ways
Add a comma
,ways
show examples
people
 can
attracted
Change the verb form
attract
show examples
 towards the different
art
 forms To sum
,
Change preposition
up, although
show examples
although
 there
several
Add a missing verb
are several
show examples
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
were
Correct your spelling
where
show examples
people
 avoid
art
 and go behind
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic development
this
 can be sorted out by
reeping
Correct your spelling
creeping
reaping
keeping
 exhibition
Centre
Fix the agreement mistake
Centres
show examples
 and
heavily
Change the word
heavy
show examples
 promotion.
Submitted by amilingeorge12345 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: