IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonate drinks. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonate drinks. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pictures highlight the steps necessary in the production of carbonated drinks.
Overall
Linking Words
, the process of making carbonated drinks involves five stages, from
water
Use synonyms
 cleaning to packaging and delivery to the supermarket.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in the first stage, the raw
water
Use synonyms
 is pumped into a
water
Use synonyms
 filter to remove unwanted substances. Afterwards, a
water
Use synonyms
 softener is used to remove some particular minerals from the
water
Use synonyms
 .
Then
Linking Words
 it was chemically treated before being passed onto a pump. In the second stage, it is first heated by electric heaters and
then
Linking Words
 goes through a cooling pipe into the tank
that is
Linking Words
 pumped with carbon dioxide to produce the carbonated drink. Later,
this
Linking Words
 carbonated drink is pumped into a mixing tank where colouring, syrup, and flavouring are combined.
Finally
Linking Words
, at the final stage, the finished mixture is packaged into boxes and delivered to the supermarket.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 0 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: