The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#position #women #society #twenty #years #people #delinquency #fact #work #home #care #children

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In the modern days, women’s social position has become more important compared to the past.

However

Linking Words

, at the same time, it is said that

this

Linking Words

causes young people’s

misbehaving

Wrong verb form

misbehave

show examples

due to

Linking Words

not being at home. Personally, I believe that having

parents

Use synonyms

around at home to supervise more may prevent their

children

Use synonyms

from getting into

troubles

Fix the agreement mistake

trouble

show examples

To begin

Linking Words

with, juveniles can’t judge right from wrong as they lack the knowledge and experience to make the right decision. One example is that Japanese prisons are separated for those under 18 years old or over. The public normally thinks of young people as inexperienced and immature because they are too young to consider their behaviours seriously.

This

Linking Words

proves that

parents

Use synonyms

should supervise juveniles and protect their

children

Use synonyms

from any

troubles

Fix the agreement mistake

trouble

show examples

parents

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

can prevent their

children

Use synonyms

from getting into a serious situation in advance by being aware of their subtle changes in behaviours and words. Unlike the others,

parents

Use synonyms

can sense their offspring’s trivial changes

while

Linking Words

they spend a daily and usual life together. A report issued by a crime research

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

in Japan said that the amount of

having

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

conversations with

parents

Use synonyms

is relevant to the number of juvenile crimes. The less they talk in their house, the more young people commit a crime in their youth.

This

Linking Words

can show that the amount of caring for

children

Use synonyms

is crucial to keep them safe. In conclusion, young people can avoid misbehaving by having their

parents

Use synonyms

around at home because

parents

Use synonyms

can give some advice from their experience and sense

children

Use synonyms

’s slight mental changes and solve them.

Submitted by ka.ki.ku.ke.kohei0827 on Mon Apr 24 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

evolution
domestic roles
diverse professional engagements
dual-working parents
family dynamics
juvenile delinquency
societal and economic factors
dual-income households
childcare methods
community support systems
gender roles
family responsibilities
professional aspirations
development needs
correlation
simplistic causation
workplace policies
flexible hours
parental leave
gender equality
role models
successful womanhood

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinion on this?

Family members and friends caring for elderly people find it hard to spend enough time looking after them. What are the causes of this problem? What solutions can you suggest?

Do the disadvantages of global homogenization outweigh the advantages?