IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The 3 graphs below describe the changes in yearly expenses by local authorities in Someland over a period of 20 years.

The 3 graphs below describe the changes in yearly expenses by local authorities in Someland over a period of 20 years.
The shown pie charts
illustratea
Correct your spelling
illustrate
illustrates
 the changes in annual spending by local authorities in Someland in 1980, 1990 and 2000.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 in Someland
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 spends more money
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 higher
education
Use synonyms
 than other aspects.
For example
Linking Words
, the overwhelming majority of
budjet
Correct your spelling
budget
 spending
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 higher
education
Use synonyms
 was in 1990 in comparison with 1980. The figures were 45 and
thirty five
Add a hyphen
thirty-five
show examples
 per
cent
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, for
Use synonyms
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
 sector in 2000
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spent
fifty eight
Add a hyphen
fifty-eight
show examples
 per
cent
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the figures in 1990 were
hefty
Correct article usage
a hefty
show examples
sixty five
Add a hyphen
sixty-five
show examples
 per
cent
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, for environmental
services
Add a comma
services,
show examples
 the pattern appears to be slightly different.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
low
Add an article
the low
show examples
 difference is in
other sector
Change the wording
another sector
other sectors
show examples
, hesitation is between one and 6 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Most
Add an article
The most
A most
show examples
 expensive sphere in
economy
Add an article
the economy
an economy
show examples
 in 1990
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
education
Use synonyms
(65 per
cent
Use synonyms
), but out of
this
Linking Words
 only twenty per
cent
Use synonyms
 is k-12
education
Use synonyms
, which is only one five.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the seventh paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words education, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
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