The bar chart below shows the percentage of students who passed their high school competency exams, by subject and gender, during the period 2010-2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar graph shows the percentage of students who passed their high school competency exams over the period 2010-2011 ,by subjects.

Overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

students of both sexes performed best in Computer Science, Mathematics, and Foreign Languages , the impact for

boys

Use synonyms

and

girls

Use synonyms

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

show examples

roughly comparable to the same in Computer Science and Mathematics.

In contrast

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,the other subjects there were have some significant differences. Looking at the graph more closely,one can see that

girls

Use synonyms

achieved by far their best results in computer science ,with a pass rate of 56.3, which was 14% higher than the

boys

Use synonyms

. The difference was even greater marked in chemistry,where over 16% more

girls

Use synonyms

passed.The one subject where

boys

Use synonyms

' results were better than

girls

Use synonyms

was Geography where they achieved a pass rate of 30.4，which was 10% higher than the percentage of the results for

girls

Use synonyms

. In general, we can see the statistics show that during

this

Linking Words

period the

girls

Use synonyms

performed better in more subjects in the competency exams than

boys

Use synonyms

Submitted by lanlan1288 on Wed Apr 26 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

167 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Competency exams
High school
Pass rate
Disparity
Performance gap
Subject-specific analysis
Year-to-year progression
Regression
Overall trends
Significant
Notably wide/narrow
Conclusion
Observations
Consistencies

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The bar chart below shows the percentage of students who passed their high school competency exams, by subject and gender, during the period 2010-2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people think that e should invent a new language for communication. It is a benefits of this outweigh the problems associated with it?

Nowadays air travel is cheaper than in the past. Is this a positive or a negative development? Discuss and give your own opinion.

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets, there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the government should provide free public libraries in every town, while others think this is a waste of money because people can get access the information on the internet. Discuss both these views and give own opinion.