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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the Internet use in different perposes in Australia in 2010,2011 and the percentage by users .Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant

The charts below show the Internet use in different perposes in Australia in 2010,2011 and the percentage by users .Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant
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The bar charts illustrate the various targets of
Internet
Use synonyms
 users in Australia between 2010 and 2011. It is noticeable that most Australians used the
Internet
Use synonyms
 to send and receive emails in 2010 and 2011.
In addition
Linking Words
, the percentages based on the user's age of paying bills online and
social
Change preposition
on social
show examples
 media are the same. It can be seen that the number of people who suffered from the
Internet
Use synonyms
 and
send
Wrong verb form
sent
show examples
 emails peaked at about 70%. Meanwhile, the demand to use social media and online payment is less popular, at only about 49% and 50% respectively. For an
age based
Add a hyphen
age-based
show examples
 percentage, almost all users aged 18 to 25 surf
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 for social media,
while
Linking Words
 people aged around 65 use less, only 30%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, about 80% of browsers 65 years old
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
pay their bills online or
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
send emails.
In addition
Linking Words
, the proportion of people
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
40 to 60
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
olds
Correct your spelling
old
show examples
 who browse the
Internet
Use synonyms
 for three purposes,
approximately
Add a missing verb
is approximately
show examples
 71% to 77%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words internet with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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