Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment compete with the younger people for the same job. What problem this causes What are the solutions.

Many senior citizens are now competing with

youngersters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

for employment.

Although

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

serious problems have risen

as a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, there are solutions as

this

Linking Words

discourse will

subsequently

Linking Words

elucidate. One major reason why employers prefer young applicants is that they believed they have up-to-date qualifications,

experiences

Correct word choice

and experiences

show examples

and are better familiarized with modern technology than older

folks

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

kind of competitive advantage may be unfavourable to old

folks

Use synonyms

as some of them are not well versed

with

Change preposition

show examples

the use of modern technology and may not be shortlisted for a

job

Use synonyms

because of their inability to keep up with technological advancement.

For example

Linking Words

, about 20% of Globacom

job

Use synonyms

applicants who were ages

60years

Correct your spelling

60 years

and above were not recruited because of their inability to use Microsoft Excel for records of sales.

In addition

Linking Words

, an imbalance between

job

Use synonyms

demands and supplies can

also

Linking Words

cause

increase

Add an article

an increase

show examples

in the number of

job

Use synonyms

seekers.

This

Linking Words

is because population growth does not match up with industrial revolution in most developed countries.

Therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

makes most older people not want to retire early as they are not guaranteed to be paid their pension early and

this

Linking Words

results in congestion in the

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

market as the old

folks

Use synonyms

are not paving

way

Correct article usage

the way

show examples

for young individuals to take over their

job

Use synonyms

even when they know they can't perform optimally anything. Despite the daunting nature of these problems, there are possible solutions today.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the government should provide skills needed for older adults to compete in the

job

Use synonyms

market which can be achieved through organizing free training on

most

Correct article usage

the most

show examples

important

job

Use synonyms

requirements at

comment

Correct article usage

the comment

show examples

level.

Secondly

Linking Words

law makers

Correct your spelling

lawmakers

show examples

should introduce laws that will make senior citizens retire at

Correct article usage

the

show examples

early age of

50years

Correct your spelling

50 years

and

this

Linking Words

can be achieved through the payment of their pension on time and sponsoring

small scale

Add a hyphen

small-scale

show examples

businesses of

Add an article

the retiree

a retiree

show examples

retiree

Fix the agreement mistake

retirees

show examples

In addition

Linking Words

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should encourage

employera

Correct your spelling

employers

employees

to change their employment practices by promoting the value that older workers can bring to a

job

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, the main reason for competition with these age groups is an imbalance between

job

Use synonyms

demands and supplies and

competitive

Correct article usage

the competitive

show examples

advantage that young

folks

Use synonyms

have over senior colleagues.

However

Linking Words

, with the right training and changes to recruitment processes, older people can compete on

equal

Add an article

an equal

show examples

level as the younger generation in the

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

market.

oludayotemilade

Apr 26, 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

378 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is a good trend, while others think there are disadvantages to this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some employers use sports as a method of advertisement to enhance their sales. While some believe it is good behaviour, others State that there are drawbacks to such activities.Although companies' sponsorship can enhance the sports industry by investing money, I believe some of these companies Spin the narratives that suit their agenda and deceive people.
6.5
band
Some people think the government should support artists like painters, musicians, and poets, while others believe this wastes money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
According to some individuals, governments should aid people who have artistic abilities such as painters, musicians, and poets in terms of funding, whereas an opposing group of people claim that it is a waste of money. This essay will first discuss the beneficial sides of the expenditure on art. Secondly, a piece of work will discuss why most people believe this wastes money.
6.5
band
Some people think children are more successful in foreign language studies than adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
There is an ongoing debate over whether children are more successful in learning a foreign language rather than adults. Many individuals claim that middle-aged people have experience in terms of analyzing, though I mostly agree that children are more successful for several reasons.
6.5
band
An American film actor once said, "Tomorrow is important and precious" • Some people think individuals and society should pay more attention to the future than to the present. Do you agree or disagree?
Some people claim that the future is more important than the present and society should focus on tomorrow than today. In contrast, I strongly agree that individuals should pay attention to the up-to-date because the future has not yet arrived.
7.5
band
Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck.
What contributes to a person’s success and achievements has been a topic of many discussions and some attribute it to luck. While luck has its fair-share contribution to what people can achieve, other factors such as a person’s financial background and persistence play a much bigger role.

Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment compete with the younger people for the same job. What problem this causes What are the solutions.

Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is a good trend, while others think there are disadvantages to this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think the government should support artists like painters, musicians, and poets, while others believe this wastes money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think children are more successful in foreign language studies than adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

An American film actor once said, "Tomorrow is important and precious" • Some people think individuals and society should pay more attention to the future than to the present. Do you agree or disagree?

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck.