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Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
The chart reveals the proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical activity among
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 and
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 in six
age
Use synonyms
 categories in Australia in 2010. Generally speaking, almost half of
Australian
Add an article
the Australian
show examples
 people did exercises regularly during 2010. Australian
women
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
between
show examples
 the ages
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 45 to 54 showed the highest level of physical activity,
while
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 in the
age
Use synonyms
 group 35-44 illustrated the least rate. The youngest
age
Use synonyms
 category (15 to 24) was the only one in which
men
Use synonyms
 did more exercises than
women
Use synonyms
, almost 53% compared to 47,7%.
However
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 were more active on average than
men
Use synonyms
 in
category
Add an article
the category
a category
show examples
 between 25 and 34 years old. It should be noted that
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of females (52,5%) 35-44 years of
age
Use synonyms
 showed the biggest difference in comparison with males (39,5%), by 13%. The figures for the
age
Use synonyms
 groups of 45-54 and 55-64 were quite similar, for
women
Use synonyms
 it was around 53%,
while
Linking Words
 for
men
Use synonyms
 in
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
 group was 43,1% and for
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 one was just over 45%.
Finally
Linking Words
, the percentages of active Australian
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 in the oldest section (65 and over) were almost identical, at approximately 47%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, women, men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
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