Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Due to
the rising consumption rate, many people start to buy things they do not really need, and can not afford. In my essay
I am going to think over Add a comma
essay,
this
problem, while
I try to find the reasons behind this
habits
. Many people buy items, especially a variety of luxurious goods they do not particularly need. Owning something is a basic instinct, Fix the agreement mistake
habit
what
can be used byCorrect word choice
that
the
marketing experts to sell their products. Correct article usage
apply
Due to
the growing presence in the
social media, famous influencers can earn serious money, showing their ‘rich’ life to their fans. After watching their beloved stars, the audience starts to buy expensive wristwatches, or Correct article usage
apply
jewelleries
, Change the wording
jewellery
pieces of jewellery
what
they could not really afford. Examining the reasons, there is another key factor, Correct word choice
that
what
makes Correct word choice
that
easier
to buy something without real money. Credit cards like American Express, are often given for free to the customers to drive them into debt. When I got my first bank account, I Correct pronoun usage
it easier
also
got a credit card with a limited amount, which was almost the same like
my whole salary, and I remember it was always emptied out Change preposition
as
at the end
of the month. In conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
this
is dangerous,
because people can easily get as Remove the comma
apply
much loan
, as Fix the agreement mistake
many loans
it
can not be paid back. In my Correct pronoun usage
they
opinion
governments should Add a comma
opinion,
give
moreVerb problem
be
attraction
to Replace the word
attractive
this
tendency, and more serious regulations needed
in the Add a missing verb
are needed
bank
sector to prevent placing out not affordable loans. Extra taxes given to social media advertisements which Replace the word
banking
takes
place in Correct subject-verb agreement
take
Correct article usage
the contents
contents
of influencers would Fix the agreement mistake
content
also
be a quick and an
easy solution.Correct article usage
apply
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite