Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Due to
the rising consumption rate, many people start to buy things they do not really need, and can not afford. In my
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I am going to think over
this
problem,
while
I try to find the reasons behind
this
habits
Fix the agreement mistake
habit
show examples
. Many people buy items, especially a variety of luxurious goods they do not particularly need. Owning something is a basic instinct,
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
can be used by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
marketing experts to sell their products.
Due to
the growing presence in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media, famous influencers can earn serious money, showing their ‘rich’ life to their fans. After watching their beloved stars, the audience starts to buy expensive wristwatches, or
jewelleries
Change the wording
jewellery
pieces of jewellery
show examples
,
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
they could not really afford. Examining the reasons, there is another key factor,
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
makes
easier
Correct pronoun usage
it easier
show examples
to buy something without real money. Credit cards like American Express, are often given for free to the customers to drive them into debt. When I got my first bank account, I
also
got a credit card with a limited amount, which was almost the same
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
my whole salary, and I remember it was always emptied out
at the end
of the month. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
this
is dangerous
,
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apply
show examples
because people can easily get as
much loan
Fix the agreement mistake
many loans
show examples
, as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can not be paid back. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
governments should
give
Verb problem
be
show examples
more
attraction
Replace the word
attractive
show examples
to
this
tendency, and more serious regulations
needed
Add a missing verb
are needed
show examples
in the
bank
Replace the word
banking
show examples
sector to prevent placing out not affordable loans. Extra taxes given to social media advertisements which
takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take
show examples
place in
Correct article usage
the contents
show examples
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
of influencers would
also
be a quick and
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
easy solution.
Submitted by gorgoc on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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