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Band 4

Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do they drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

#people #video #games #fun #tool #effect
Due to
 our modern
world
, there are too many ways that
people
 can get
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 or waste time
while
 being busy on something. But in most of the cases kinds of
games
 which are digitally visual have been established for entertainment. There are too many
game
 studios and companies in the
world
. Most of them are located in North America and in Europe. They are Blizzard, Gameloft, Ubisoft, Rockstar,
ElectronicsArt
Correct your spelling
electronics
, and so many others are included. These companies make war, simulation,
open
Correct word choice
and open
show examples
world
games
, and these types of
games
 are
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 trended
games
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
world wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
show examples
.
People
 use to play these
games
 to enjoy their
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and spend their time alone. Companies and studios are planning to make online
games
 in order to have
in
Add a hyphen
in-game
show examples
game
 purchases. Some
games
 can be more addictive,
most
Change preposition
in most
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cases
people
 can be irritated
while
 playing these
games
.
Therefore
 some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 do play only story
games
 to understand and enjoy the
game
 itself
such
 as watching the movie or TV series. There have been too many
games
 which have been banned in some
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
 for the
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
 rate and crime
scene
Fix the agreement mistake
scenes
show examples
 that they have.
Therefore
 there have been some
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of
people
 who
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 hate video
games
, they find
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a waste of time. But in
Germany
Add a comma
,Germany
show examples
 the social groups and
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 work together to make educative video
games
 for children to make a better future for them. Video
games
 are the best tool that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been invented by the human to increase the thinking ability. I am a story
games
 player,
one
Correct word choice
and one
show examples
 of the first
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 that I look for in those
games
 is
scenario
Correct article usage
the scenario
show examples
 itself. There is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 age restriction in every
games
Change to a singular noun
game
show examples
. Japan is
also
 one of the
game
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
. There are too many anime
games
 in
this
 country. It depends on the system in each country
how
Correct word choice
and how
show examples
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
they use
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
this
 tool to make
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 future for themselves.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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