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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others, however, deny that these factors have any significant influence on people’s behaviour. What is your opinion on that issue?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #people’s #behaviour
Nowadays, there are several aggressive videos or
games
 that have been shown on
TV
 and digital
games
, leading to coming out violation
behaviour
 on
people
. some
people
 argue that those things have no adverse effects on
people
's acts,
however
, I do not think so. As a wide variety of shows are produced, which have much insulting or clashing in order to solve their social issues,
people
 always are prone to that violent
behaviour
.
people
 after watching these aggressive trends, they encourage to resolve their problems by intimating those programs on
TV
, if they have any problems, with their peers or even other companies, organizations and neighbours. Since they learn to tackle their issues by bullying, they get involved with other folks and their society.
Therefore
, those
TV
 shows have an adverse effect on societies, especially in the long run, and it would be a detrimental approach.
In addition
, most teenagers play computer
games
, and these playings have a broad array of battery and stimulating scenes. Digital playing has an aggressive theme, soldiers have a gun and shoot civil persons, or wrestle with each other without caring the morality,
for instance
. As teenager do not form their moral personality and their
behaviour
 under forming, playing
This
 attractive scene gives rise to forming their
behaviour
 in inappropriate ways. They are more impressionable than the other age groups,
therefore
,
this
 trend has not a constructive, particularly for
this
 range of age. In conclusion, watching violent
TV
 programs and computer
games
 is dangerous for society and individuals'
behaviour
due to
 the fact that most viewers
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are so young or
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
 solve their problems by practical methods.
Submitted by nazikhatamian on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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